May 11, 2016

To Mr. M..

It was a sudden visit but did a great impact. The air around that time seems like yesterday. Never thought you'd really show ur face. I admire ur gut and courage to face what u had once left. I can see your nervous and unsure if we'd give you forgiveness, eventhough your sweating cold and trembling you still managed to get that confident intacted. Nothings change in you. I can see your still assuming things and thought of me the same way as i was before. But sorry cause i've changed i had stopped chasing you after your marriage and sorry cause Bhel cant accept you. She's mad and angry with you from the bone. Felt shocked of your presence and silently crying without tears in her eyes. So many questions in her mind that needs to be answered. I felt disappointment of your unuttered words.. you play it safe and casually wanting more to say. But your definitely a coward in nature. Never came out from your mouth even a word of sorry towards her. What the hell were you thinking? I guess you think your inside your dream. She waited to hear your reasons for the whole 13 yrs. That was a mistake you did for not being specific of your purpose in seeing her. Really what is your motive. If its to ask for forgiveness, i had given it to you a long time ago. I moved on since the day you throw our future away. And when you get married to your wife now the chances of us is no more. So when you asked me if i can let you love me again? I say it again you will only be hurting yourself and the family you have now. So let go of that feelings now. Because i wont ever give up my life and family now just to give you what you asked of me. It is way too complicated and would be unfair to you.. a one sided love is the only thing you can get;  you and me together will hurt the people around us now. So pls stop that feelings and desire of yours. I love my husband specially my children. I dont want to give them a broken home. I cant live without my conscience pure. I always pray to God of the events in my life. I can only be a friend to you now. So goodbye lover boy and hello my friend.


Japan life

First of all I would like to apologized for not updating my blog in this website. Been busy this past year 2021 along with this pandemic and...