Sad and blue...( T_T )

Just went back from Legaspi. The kids had their class in Kumon. It was fun and enjoying time to stroll after their class. Eating out and shopping was a stress reliever, yet it was tiring too coz of my heavy belly carrying my 8months of pregnancy. It was tough.. And yuri had her tantrums. She's being stubborn lately whenever were outside. She always speaks of her father.. Always remembering and missing him. I dont know what it is but i feel a bit sad and blue. Seeing them without their father at this time of their life. It would be their childhood memory. And yuri is the kind of child who would always remember and wanting to bring back all the good memories she share with everyone. She is really a loving, thoughtful and caring kind of child. Belle and yuri had been really close with each other. Belle would also look on her sister and play with her. Care for her when im not around. But they also fight and argue most of the time. I think its normal with siblings. 

Later in the evening i had facetime with Mahal (my husband) we chat and yuri also had a chat with her papa. Mahal was laughing at yuri, yuri make funny faces that made him laugh. She may be the relaxing ingredient i should say in his life. His stress reliever. I can see that whenever he sees yuri his face would lighten up and expressed a happy face. They're really bonded tightly.. Was it bcoz of blood relation. Blood is really thicker than water. And then out of the blue Mahal's mood had change again when i asked about his coming home for christmas, he suddenly got irritated somehow bcoz of my pushing him to buy his ticket. He said it hadn't decided yet. But i thought he had set his mind to be with us. And he also promised the kids that he'd be here on christmas. It was our family's tradition. Gathering together.. That's the best gift i could ever had. We've been parted for almost 6 months now that's half a year already and i misses him so much now. This times will be difficult for me. I also want to feel his care and feel that his also a part of my pregnancy. I want to feel his responsible for me. Im always having fatigue and i cry sometimes on my sleep, im longing for him by my side wanting to feel his love and care. He's not always here when i needed him most. But all i do is to pray for his safety wherever he go and that he's far away from any trouble on whatever he do. I just think positively that he needed to be far for all of usto survived. To provide for our needs. But money isn't enough, time is precious too. Spending it with care for the people you love and care for, specially when they need it most from you. You should be able to make time for that person. Waiting doesn't mean forever. It is trust.. Trusting in his promised. I feel down hearing the news from him that he might not able to make it.. For the record, this would be the first christmas in our 4 years of marriage that he wont be here to be with us. It breaks my heart.. But if its God's will and according to His plan, i can only trust the Lord to decide for what is best for us this Christmas. I will celebrate Jesus Christ my savior's birthday whole heartedly!!! Hoping and praying Mahal would also feel the same.

Prepare to Meet your God, Angelica Zambrano (23 Horas Muerta)

Prepare to Meet your God, Angelica Zambrano (23 Horas Muerta)

God bless you all!Have a nice day...c",)

4th SONA of Pres. Pnoy Aquino

Today's 4th SONA of our President Pnoy Aquino tackles a lot of critical issues. Specially in poor leadership of other department of our government. The corrupt and irresponsible politicians. He also discusses the progress in other sector of the government. Reports on the poor citizens that's been given a house and employment. Education program and other industrial and agricultural issues. There are many of our fellow filipinos who  may still criticize his effectiveness in leading our country to be a progressive one. Changes been seen and our economy rises. We are rapidly growing and our citizens can see it but not everyone have an open mind to accept this changes. In my opinion, Pnoy is giving justice to his promises in leading our country for the better and its progress. We should just trust his leadership and support the present system of the government. If we all work together as one we can do much much better. 6 yrs isn't enough to make all those changes without the help of its own citizen. We are our own country's representative we should act as a responsible citizen. What other country see in our country see how filipinos are. We should make changes in ourselves first for good so that our country will adapt this changes it shouldn't be the other way around. We rule our life and we are our country's habitants. We should respect and take care of what we have and can get in our country in order to live in peace and united as one. Good deeds will prevail against evil. God uses us to be his instrument to make this changes in order to have a better world. Hope, prayer and responsibility are the attitude we should all possess to make us proud and our country be known and respected by other countries. Continue pursuing peace and unity to achieve world peace.

My Jealous heart

What will you do when the person you love and chooses to be with for the rest of your life is sneaking behind your back. Wondering somewhere else, perhaps with his past love. What will you think of it? Eventhough he says that its not a big deal and it means nothing to him. Still the possibility is there to tempt him to do what he's not supposed to do as a responsible and honest partner. We can never tell if its for good or bad to let him do what he wants to do with his open communication with his past love. I only asked for a privacy of our family. Never to share what's happening to us specially with the person whom i've known to be too much of a bad woman who bad mouthed me and insulted me in his knowledge. Yet, he never defended me. He still believes in her and care about her more. So what can i do to stop him. Nothing isn't it. I wanted to respect him and his decisions but he doesn't show the same respect to me. Im just protective of our relationship and i dont want somebody get in between us. I was also once approached by my ex-boyfriend who happen to be my eldest daughter's biological father. He often gives me messages just recently but i straightly said that im happy now and i dont want anything to do to get our communication open again. Although he's just saying that he wanted to see our daughter, but later he would recall our past and how he misses me. Putting up some past memories that im totally ignoring now. And he even say the words I love you that i haven't heard so before when we were still together. he said he had so much regret now. But im careful not to fall on those words of his. i put on walls to protect myself. I dont want to cheat on my husband although it wasn't me who's approaching. As much as i can control the situation i wont entertain such past love. All those were in the past now. And i dont want it to be the reason for my husband to fall out of love from me. He didn't know such things occur but im honest in God's eye for my husband cant see my heart that it only beats for him and not to any past love.. And so now that he's running in this same situation i've got into i wonder if he's also in control. If he can fight for my love and resist her approaches. Im putting up a test of love and loyalty. Where can it lead us both. I just want to silently cry my pains. He knows how he can tamed my heart thats getting colder and colder each day he didn't fulfill my request. Im waiting desperately in vain that he chooses to love me instead of entertaining his past love. To concentrate in our family and our future. I only asked for that thing he cant give bcoz he chooses to keep her on his page to be able to know how she's doing and still he cares for her happiness but not mine. Thats how i see it and Im getting tired fighthing always for my love and giving up my own pride. I should give myself a break and respect that he cant give. He knows that i totally disagree with his actions and decisions. But its his own happiness and fullfillment that i cant do anything about it. Maybe thats the life he wants for us. Im always being misunderstood.. And its not new if he doesn't want to understand me. Im also tired of it. Dont have the power to argue now. My body isn't in good condition too bcoz of my pregnancy. I give it all to God to give me guidance and clear our minds. Hoping and praying we can overcome this trials in our relationship. If God permits us to be together forever. I pray.

Miracle happens...

We feel so blessed for were about to have another member on our small family, and its getting bigger. Im 6 weeks pregnant now and im glad i conceived. Were really waiting for this one to arrive. And now in God's time He give us the most precious gift.. A new life inside me. A real miracle that i could hardly believed bcoz after a long and hardly trying to have this child it has come! Im very thankful and praises God for He's giving us the right timing. He has His purpose and i believe in His plan for our unborn child and our family's future. Things really happen in God's time and were not in control of it. We can only have our faith and believe in His miracles. I promised myself that i will protect our child no matter what. I want our child to live and experience life. Hoping and praying for a healthy baby boy or girl. Thank you so much Lord for trusting us to raise a new life.

What if...

What if i am single..in a relationship..or perhaps complicated. Maybe its just a matter of status. A matter of love?! Or somehow securing future. I really dont know how to think and deal with this so-called status. For me as a mother and wife is a combination of happiness and sadness. Happy because i have my children whom i can witness to grow and give them guidance in the path of living righteousness. Happy i have a family to share and dedicate my life for it to be meaningful. And happy because i have a partner who can support me to make our family stay together and securing our future. Sadness when all these turn into a quarrel and without giving each other chance to practice our own right on the role that we should play. As parents were responsible in raising our children, for a mother i need to take care of my family emotionally giving them my best to be a good adviser being the light of our small family. I should be able to prepare their meals, attend when their sick, pray for our safety always and support my partner in any way. As a wife i should also be responsible to manage our expenses that my partner is providing for us. Living a wise lifestyle without making each other suffer either emotional, physical and mental. I would love to be the best on my role both as a wife and a mother to give my own family the best of life. I pray to God that in any difficulties thay we may encounter i hope that we can go through it by holding our hands together and praying as one for our brighter future. May God keep us all healthy and let us live together much much longer.. There's nothing i could ask for more.. Just living peacefully and happy with what God provides. Im satisfied!

Shocked! April 18, 2013

Feeling so shocked tonight bhel had been hit by a car on the highway. I feel so sorry and im still in shocked. I dont know what im gonna do if worse thing will happen. Now were here in a hospital nearby. Malaysia isnt really a safe country for pedestrians. We hope and pray that bhel will be okay and recover soon. It find out that there is no serious fractured or broken limbs. But still i cant sit still and be relax because it wasnt been 24hrs yet. The accident happen at 8:20 pm after our dinner. I dont know how to manage it an my feelings were mixing. I think im also going to have a panic attack but im fighting it. Bhel needed me on her side and i must take care of her now. Pls pray for her to be safe and recover soon. Huhuhu T_T

Wondering..(^_^)

Feeling of excitement, worries and fears , happiness, greatfulness and achievement for me and the kids we will be travelling to Penang Malaysia for the very first time. It is our first time as a family to travel abroad and so im feeling a bit nervous.. Got so many things to do and must be cautious all the time. Wondering if i could get some relaxation. Still a lot of memos to do... Bringing the kids along will be really tough i guess. So much worry and must always pay attention to them. I hope they wont get their tantrums. I wish they can cooperate during this travel. Sunday will be our big day, I'd be restless then. My luggages were all so heavy. Can i make it? I must be strong for this! Wish me luck!

Picture take!

Been loving to take a picture of my two lovely kids.. They're growing so fast and im afraid i would missed it so im taking every opportunity i had to record them. I feel blessed and probably the happiest mother on earth because i have them with me. I am able to witness their growth, i want to be a part of each step they take in order for them to reach their own goals and dreams. Me and my hubby will always be there for them no matter how foggy the road may be. I promised to protect and carry them with my own life. That's how much i value and love my kids. This is just a motherly moment so please dont blame me for being like this and feeling this way.

Thanks to all of you!