Sad and blue...( T_T )

Just went back from Legaspi. The kids had their class in Kumon. It was fun and enjoying time to stroll after their class. Eating out and shopping was a stress reliever, yet it was tiring too coz of my heavy belly carrying my 8months of pregnancy. It was tough.. And yuri had her tantrums. She's being stubborn lately whenever were outside. She always speaks of her father.. Always remembering and missing him. I dont know what it is but i feel a bit sad and blue. Seeing them without their father at this time of their life. It would be their childhood memory. And yuri is the kind of child who would always remember and wanting to bring back all the good memories she share with everyone. She is really a loving, thoughtful and caring kind of child. Belle and yuri had been really close with each other. Belle would also look on her sister and play with her. Care for her when im not around. But they also fight and argue most of the time. I think its normal with siblings. 

Later in the evening i had facetime with Mahal (my husband) we chat and yuri also had a chat with her papa. Mahal was laughing at yuri, yuri make funny faces that made him laugh. She may be the relaxing ingredient i should say in his life. His stress reliever. I can see that whenever he sees yuri his face would lighten up and expressed a happy face. They're really bonded tightly.. Was it bcoz of blood relation. Blood is really thicker than water. And then out of the blue Mahal's mood had change again when i asked about his coming home for christmas, he suddenly got irritated somehow bcoz of my pushing him to buy his ticket. He said it hadn't decided yet. But i thought he had set his mind to be with us. And he also promised the kids that he'd be here on christmas. It was our family's tradition. Gathering together.. That's the best gift i could ever had. We've been parted for almost 6 months now that's half a year already and i misses him so much now. This times will be difficult for me. I also want to feel his care and feel that his also a part of my pregnancy. I want to feel his responsible for me. Im always having fatigue and i cry sometimes on my sleep, im longing for him by my side wanting to feel his love and care. He's not always here when i needed him most. But all i do is to pray for his safety wherever he go and that he's far away from any trouble on whatever he do. I just think positively that he needed to be far for all of usto survived. To provide for our needs. But money isn't enough, time is precious too. Spending it with care for the people you love and care for, specially when they need it most from you. You should be able to make time for that person. Waiting doesn't mean forever. It is trust.. Trusting in his promised. I feel down hearing the news from him that he might not able to make it.. For the record, this would be the first christmas in our 4 years of marriage that he wont be here to be with us. It breaks my heart.. But if its God's will and according to His plan, i can only trust the Lord to decide for what is best for us this Christmas. I will celebrate Jesus Christ my savior's birthday whole heartedly!!! Hoping and praying Mahal would also feel the same.