Trust vs. Doubt

Having my random thought about our marriage and our relationship as partners in life. Mark, my husband is really a straight man. That's what i believed. I know that he wont cheat on me that easily. even if his peers would draw him into that temptation, i know that he can refuse it because of his own self dignity and fidelity. I know that he could decide for himself, he would know the cause and effect of his actions and his responsibility. Im feeling so down now when i happen to know through his blog that he had been tempted to date and gone out with a young girl thru the influence of his friend H. I feel a little scared and mad at him for a sudden period of time.. been into a lot of thinking before making conclusions of clearing things on him. so i pull myself in and think of a wise decision, I shouldn't get mad at him. I told myself to calm down.. I must be a good,kind and understanding wife to him. I want him to realized that there is no other woman like me, no one can replace me in his life. I am me, an honest and loving wife to him. He should have his own conscience towards this matter. He knows how sensitive I can be when it comes to the matter of the heart and truth. Im having my grip on it by giving him a reversed psychology, instead of nagging and getting mad and closing all ears to his reasons, i decided that its better to be open to him and listen to what he has to say and let him explain. I would never understand and can never decide without me knowing what's going on inside his head. Even if i would know the real thing and the truth i would just pretend not being hurt and give my support to him. That's how much i love him. I am more than willing to sacrifice my own pride just to let us live in peace and harmony for the sake and future of our family. If i choose to be hot tempered things wont be cleared, and the situation could only get worst then, we'll have our misunderstanding. My motto for today "Be patient, be kind and understanding for God is always watching." Although he said that he didn't do anything wrong and beyond any friendly approach or manner towards that girl. I still have this pain in my heart, for its still an act of cheating. Even when he didn't touch her, the fact that he had come into thinking of having her in his room although it didn't end that way is a reason enough for me to have a doubt. But still Im trying to understand him. Be more patient and understanding. For in the end nothing bad comes out from wrong doings and nothing comes negative from positive. He is a reasonable man. a man with a righteous mind, this is how i interpret him. for sometimes he might get tempted to cheat, i will still from the bottom of my heart can forgive him. for we are just human and we are not perfect. We can try to be perfect but still we needed a lot of discipline on ourselves to be able to become one. In the reality of life, it is nothing but struggle. Any problems that arises we face it all the time and we struggle for our life. I just have to have my faith in God in order to survive. And believed in His ultimate plan for me. God is the only one i can trust with my whole heart and with my whole being. That's all!!! I love you Lord! And please take care of me as always. Thank you po. God bless you all! Have a nice day...c",)