Pretending

Sometimes i would feel this way.. i think its the best way to guard my emotions that wants to burst out.. Pretending is my weapon against my own emotion. Its been there always whenever it needed to be. Just like right now, my husband seems to be fully loaded his work schedule and doesn't have much time again for us his own family, Im trying my very best to understand and consider all about our situation and his work.  Putting on my mind that he's just being responsible to be able to provide for our food and shelter. But i couldn't accept it wholeheartedly that he will always be leaving us and being far away.. Its not just material things we needed here, dont you think so? I dont think so too.. more than anything we needed his precious time to be with us. Were not growing socially and as a couple ofcourse we also need quality time to spend with each other.. whenever he leaves me i feel like Im being a single parent to our children, i couldn't feel the presence of a partner.. And what can i do but to accept our situation, as if i had any other choice and pray that he could grant my wishes to stay beside me and raise our children together holding hands. Its really hard to struggle about it anymore.. because the more i complain and argue with him the more it gets complicated and i will be misunderstood and we'll never again talk until our pains subside. so all i do now is to pretend that it doesn't matter whatever he decides about his work.. no more complaining.. i dont want to speak a lot anymore.. He knows how i feel and i know that he knows what to do with it.

God bless you all! Have a nice day...c",)