My Jealous heart

What will you do when the person you love and chooses to be with for the rest of your life is sneaking behind your back. Wondering somewhere else, perhaps with his past love. What will you think of it? Eventhough he says that its not a big deal and it means nothing to him. Still the possibility is there to tempt him to do what he's not supposed to do as a responsible and honest partner. We can never tell if its for good or bad to let him do what he wants to do with his open communication with his past love. I only asked for a privacy of our family. Never to share what's happening to us specially with the person whom i've known to be too much of a bad woman who bad mouthed me and insulted me in his knowledge. Yet, he never defended me. He still believes in her and care about her more. So what can i do to stop him. Nothing isn't it. I wanted to respect him and his decisions but he doesn't show the same respect to me. Im just protective of our relationship and i dont want somebody get in between us. I was also once approached by my ex-boyfriend who happen to be my eldest daughter's biological father. He often gives me messages just recently but i straightly said that im happy now and i dont want anything to do to get our communication open again. Although he's just saying that he wanted to see our daughter, but later he would recall our past and how he misses me. Putting up some past memories that im totally ignoring now. And he even say the words I love you that i haven't heard so before when we were still together. he said he had so much regret now. But im careful not to fall on those words of his. i put on walls to protect myself. I dont want to cheat on my husband although it wasn't me who's approaching. As much as i can control the situation i wont entertain such past love. All those were in the past now. And i dont want it to be the reason for my husband to fall out of love from me. He didn't know such things occur but im honest in God's eye for my husband cant see my heart that it only beats for him and not to any past love.. And so now that he's running in this same situation i've got into i wonder if he's also in control. If he can fight for my love and resist her approaches. Im putting up a test of love and loyalty. Where can it lead us both. I just want to silently cry my pains. He knows how he can tamed my heart thats getting colder and colder each day he didn't fulfill my request. Im waiting desperately in vain that he chooses to love me instead of entertaining his past love. To concentrate in our family and our future. I only asked for that thing he cant give bcoz he chooses to keep her on his page to be able to know how she's doing and still he cares for her happiness but not mine. Thats how i see it and Im getting tired fighthing always for my love and giving up my own pride. I should give myself a break and respect that he cant give. He knows that i totally disagree with his actions and decisions. But its his own happiness and fullfillment that i cant do anything about it. Maybe thats the life he wants for us. Im always being misunderstood.. And its not new if he doesn't want to understand me. Im also tired of it. Dont have the power to argue now. My body isn't in good condition too bcoz of my pregnancy. I give it all to God to give me guidance and clear our minds. Hoping and praying we can overcome this trials in our relationship. If God permits us to be together forever. I pray.