Awkward Feeling

Lately i had been feeling down and disappointed with my situation. I could'nt hardly say what Im really feeling inside towards my husband. Because Im scared of him. I could'nt directly be true to him and to myself of what i really wanna say. Whenever I ask him about getting me a visa to japan he will immediately reject me. When I want to tackle an issue with regards to acquiring my japan visa, he wont allow me to get one. Im so confused and i dont really understand why he is being like this to me. It is as if I dont deserved it. Or maybe i am missing an important details about his being defensive towards it. On why he kept me distance and isolated from his life back in Japan. He always say that its not needed, that were not going to japan anytime soon, or we dont have enough money to travel. He make a lot of reason and excuses which for me are so shallow.. I feel disrespected for until now he didn't even once make a move or make plan to make me meet his parents in Japan. Eventhough his parents are not really well. I feel hopeless and sometimes devastated of this situation. I can only speak this to myself because my voice is not always being heard. He only listens to himself and not really sensitive to my feelings. Its weird to feel that he seemed stranged and too difficult to understand. Its so unfair for me and my children to be disregarded of what we really deserved. I only want to meet his parents and greet them.. Get to know the family of my husband, go to the place where he grew up and meet his siblings.. Why is it so difficult? Why is he giving me this mental torture and emotional abuse? This isn't proper, I dont deserved his negligence towards how and what i feel. Im his wife and the mother of his children. Im afraid that when the time comes i will not be able to meet my parents in-law face to face and alive. I dont want to go there to just attend a funeral... It really saddened me to see him so cold hearted. I dont have peace of mind. It unhealthy and im unhappy. I hope one day he wont regret being unfair to me. I hope he'd be more open to me without ending into arguments. I just want to feel whole.. He owe me a lot of things.. his history of cheating, of losing our wedding ring, of not giving me a proper wedding ceremony, of not giving me credit to acquired japan visa and many other things, inspite of me giving him my whole life and continue supporting him. for being his backbone during those hardtimes. Im feeling unappreciated.. Hope someday he'd find it in his heart my pure love is always here for him. 

Life is short, so make the most of it and live a meaningful one.

Yesterday, I heard of the sad news from a close friend that his wife passed away, we were like siblings during our college years. I am mourning deep within for the lost of a loved-one. His wife suffered from cancer and upon this sickness she was also pregnant during this period. Its a heavy burden for her, but she kept strong until she gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Too late for them to realized and noticed the disease. Its a traitor disease.. very deadly and agonizing. Since hearing the news that she had been diagnosed with cancer that is really at the advanced stage they felt that they've been hit by a badluck. Stage 4 cancer is tough and it can hardly get recover. But in rare cases through chemotheraphy there is a chance of recovering if its still at the early stage but stage 4 and 5 is so unlikely to be cured. During her chemo treatment her health rapidly go down and I can barely recognized her physical appearance. A once bubbly woman had become so slim and unlively. It breaks my heart seeing her suffer and I sympathized for my friends, they were together for almost 18 yrs and they had blessed with three wonderful kids.  Its a heartbreaking scene to see and be into. But they fight a good fight because they had a new baby, its really ironic. You cant distinguished the good and bad out of this situation. You will probably think that it's better to keep healthy body and live longer to take care and be with your family than bringing another child that will manifest the sickness within you. But a mother's love grow from within that keeping the child is much important because it is a life you are bringing, despite the chance that you might lose your own life. The one that would suffer in the end are the one's who are left behind. I symphatized for the father who had lost the mother of his children because from here and forward he will be the one to carry through the heavy baggage on his shoulder. Alone to make it through each day to survived in this world. I can imagine how hard it will be to carry on. A heavy heart, a worried mind and empty feelings all this at once is nothing but pain. It may take a lot of time to heal from it, but we must not lose track of our own life, of the one's that are living and we are held responsible. 

Because of this situation that I witness, I realized that life is really short and its unpredictable. Anything can happen at anytime and at any place. So we need to be prepared for the people who will be left behind when our time has come. Everything in this world doesn't last forever. We will all be history. Even this world that we are living will perished in time. So lets make the most of our remaining time, lets not worry too much and stressed ourselves too much it can only trigger a sickness in our body, live in a mindful manner and always feel grateful everyday that you are alive and you have another day to live. Enjoy and do things that will make you happy, don't hold back on your own happiness as long as your being responsible of the things and for the  people that matters to you. Travel as much as you can and embraced the world. Live a meaningful life, LIVE, LAUGH and LOVE. Life is too short to waste on time you have with your worries, anger, bitterness, loneliness and sadness. Stop fighting each other, instead appreciate each other. We are here for a purpose and that purpose is to love one another not to fight and kill each other. Wouldn't it be great if we are all living in peace and harmony. Every family can celebrate the daily walks of life and continue living life with love in their hearts. 

Before I end this topic, I want to share my own wishes before I die. If ever I'd be the first one to leave, I hope that my partner in life would feel in peace and continue the journey that we started in our family. I know that he is a responsible father. So im in peace and will give him my blessing to pursue his happiness. Continue what he loves to do and take good care of our children's future. I trust his decisions when it comes to our children's welfare. I want him to stay beside with our children when Im gone. Be their life teacher and advisor. And I want my children to listen and follow him. I also wish that we can unite with his parents and introduced them to our family. It is important for me, it will bring me more respect towards him and look-up to him as the gentleman of the house. I wish that I can travel to Egypt.. Last but not the least, I want my remains to be cremated and kept by my children in a jar inside their home. So that my spirit will stay with them. I will be your guidance forever in your hearts. Offer me a prayer everyday or write me a letter on your diary, I will surely read those. Finally, I can watch over you from heaven. So do all your best to live a good life. Never hurt anyone specially each other. Always be there for each other. Follow your dreams and aspirations. Reached all your goals. Everytime you do I will be clapping and smiling with your achievements. Always remember, If there's a will, there's a way. Never give up until the end. We will be together again. 

Her Life... (Fiction) Chapter 6

After the show of Ranga the three CCA artist group had their celebration at a beach resort. Everyone gathered to celebrate the successful shows they made. Everyone get along together having fun eating and drinking. Some of them went swimming and playing on the beach. By night everbody got tired and went back to their designated rooms. Each group get 2 rooms, one for boys and one for girls. The room was quiet crowded for everyone to fit. The drunkards soon fell asleep, while watching them sleep soundly Ada couldn't find her place to sleep. They were all occupied even on the floor. 15 people in one room cant be accommodated but she doesn't have a choice and she were already tipsy, she just wanted to lay her back and sleep anywhere. So she went outside and look for a place to settle, she went down at the hallway where there are long tables and a bench chair. While looking for a place to sleep she saw Sid sleeping on the table alone in a sitting position. The breeze from the sea was cold and he is just wearing plain white shirt and short. He caught him hugging himself in those cold air. She went closer to him and check upon him. He suddenly wakes up when he noticed her presence. Ada asked why he is sleeping in there. He should go back to his room and sleep there. He seems to be drunk too smilling so seductively at her. She finds him charming. He suddenly pull her closer and held her hand. Ada got shocked but she didn't get scared of his sudden gesture, she try to pulled back her hand but he's strongly holding it. He said he just wanted to talk for a while, and get to know her better. He also asked her why she isn't sleeping yet. She told him honestly that there were no place for her to sleep in their room. She was planning to sleep in one of the benches there and had brought her shawl to protect herself from cold air and mosquitos until she saw him there. He said it may be fate to be together in that moment. She seemed a bit tensed and she feel like wanting to run away from him and just find a place to sleep but she would also want to know him more. So they sit and talk for a while. It was just a normal conversation, getting to know each other's likes and dislikes. Sharing each others dreams. Telling her aspirations and her life from her past up to present. It was a long conversation and they didn't even notice the time until the sun starts to change the color of the sky. They were both so sleepy afterwards. It just ended like a normal day to day conversation with a friend. He is a gentleman and very much smart guy. He is also a good conversionalist and great listener. They enjoyed the whole night just talking and nothing else, now she seemed to trust him. 

On the second night of their stay something happened. Romy and his current girlfriend Rose had a fight. Romy got so drunk and he wanted to sleep together with Rose but it wasn't allowed to have such thing happen while they are having their school group activity. The director is held responsible for everyone on this trip. Although they were considered as lovers it's still against school rules on the morale of each students. Because romy was not on his proper mind at that moment he got too much alcohol in his sytem he didn't understand this rules. So Rose tried to make him understand until they got into a fight because Romy don't want to accept it. He got so angry and throw punches on the brick wall. He is in the beast mode, he became a mad man. At that moment when Ada witness this scenario she felt thankful that she didn't get to that level of being his girlfriend. He is a scary guy and had an obsessive, possessive attitude. Lucky for her to see through it before it happens, but she pitied Rose for being the victim of his possessiveness its more of a brutal kind of love. Physically and emotionally tiring. While Rose was crying and hiding in the room everyone comfort her and protected her from Romy. But because Romy was a tall guy and he is strong he managed to take Rose with him and dragged her down to the shore. Romy wanted to drown her and commit suicide. It was tense but the reason was so lame. She couldn't understand it. She tried to help tamed Romy but he is running away from everyone while carrying Rose on his shoulder. Sid was just looking at everyone he is also drunk and just sitting quietly, he looks like he isn't that affected or he just don't understand the situation. Ada guess he is too much drunk too. So the othe boys went and get back Rose from Romy. Its 6 boys against Romy. They managed to get Rose back in their room. When the situation calms a little, the boys and their director talk with Romy. And everything settled in the morning to leaved the beach resort. When Romy subsided from his drunkenness he apologized to everyone and asked Rose for forgiveness. Rose was a kind girl, so naived and submissive. She loves Romy too so she easily forgave him. But made him promised not to drink alcohol too much. That ended there, everyone was relieved and they just made a laugh out of it. But it was a serious situation anybody could get hurt its lucky that no ones been hurt.

While on their way back to the city everyone was quiet. Some of the students were sleeping inside the bus, while Sid and Ada was sitting together they talk about what happen last night. And ada told the whole story to Sid. He said he was too drunk to even remember things and how he fell asleep last night. He regretted he wasn't able to help. Ada said it was settled and it was fine now. Romy and Rose got back together again. Lucky Romy he finds Rose for a girlfriend he said to Sid and Rose is unlucky to have a boyfriend like him. Ada think Rose will not have a happy life with him because of his attitude. Sid didn't even comment against her statement. He just listen to her talking and answer her questions from time to time. Because of their trip they found a friend with each other. 

When they arrived back in the city, Sid made promised to keep in touch with Ada. He wants to see her often in school during their free time. She also agreed on that. As time passes by he continued being there to be her companion and a reliable friend. She develop a strong affection towards him. She thinks he was the perfect guy for her. She confessed her feeling towards him that she like him. But Sid said she is still young to think about love, he is encouraging her to dream more and achieved more. And that he is just there for her, He said he likes her too but he don't want to take advantage of her. He said he wants to be a responsible man so he wants to focus and finished his study first. They remained friends until he graduated from college. She attended the graduation ceremony because some of her friends and groupmates were graduating too. She attended the celebration of her other friends and just greet Sid a congratulations. Sid asked for their picture together as a souvenir. And invited her to go in his house to celebrate. His mother and sister was there and he introduced her to them. They also asked her to join in their celebration. But Ada already accepted her other friends invitation so she refused him. She taught it would be their last moment to see each other. She felt regret of not accepting his invitation. She continue to missed him on the following days. Even on their school vacation Ada still needs to attend their rehearsals, they still have an upcoming production show that they submitted for an entry on the national Theater contest. If they get chosen they will be sponsored and get free allowance weekly as talent fee. The school will also benefit from it because they will be carrying its name. The school president supported them and give them a proper approval to do their rehearsal at anytime until the contest and events happen. They kept busy, they rushed on their props and they worked hard day and night. They were allowed to sleep overnight within the school premises. Eventhough alcohol wasn't allowed in school, the boys managed to befriend the school guard and make them an ally to let them bring alcohol inside. Romy was also part of the production team as music scorer. He is the one behind all the soundtrack of their show. He is really a multi-talented when it comes to music. He is intelligent in science and math too. Its just that his attitude has a bit of temperament and moody sometimes. After their hardwork the boys would usually drink and talk about the plans for the show and how they can succeed. They are all responsible when it comes to their task. They were like a big family, a brothers and sisters by heart. They support each other. They share their laughter and tears. There is harmony in the group. 

To be continued on the next chapter..

Keep updated and thank you all for following my story.

Her Life... (Fiction) Chapter 5

University of St. Thomas (UST) is Ada's new school. College life is the most interesting stage in her life. Looking forward on moving up to the next level of her life she cant wait for it to start. So here it goes...
Being sweet sixteen they say is the youthfulness of all ages. A teenage girl turning into a lady in this brand new world. She was mesmerized by the ambiance and scenes at every corner of the school. The different types of students, their classes, status and fashion. It is a mixed feeling of emotions that greeted her while entering the university. Most of the students here are rich and because its this school's reputation. Some of them enter the school in wheels, plenty of handsome and pretty students around. She felt a bit awkward with them, she thinks it wasn't her agenda. She don't want to get associated with them. Ada and Mary part ways on the lobby area because they have different courses and different buildings. They are parted on by end to end buildings. Ada while entering her class make her usual self. She felt a bit nervous yet like everybody in that room they are all first timers. She soon got her own aquintances, some of her classmates were in the same situation as her, but some are rich fella and they looked so overly confident. New faces from different high schools. Some came all the way from the big cities to study there. Anyway, they were having tough time searching for their classrooms at first because it was a huge school. Their first week of school wasn't the formal class it was all just briefings and introductions. The week soon comes to end. It was easy and relax time for everyone. The struggles of college life is on the way on the following days.
Her parents were giving her advises now that she had entered college. They reminded her of her priorities in life. And still don't get into any relationships until she finishes her study in college. She made a promised to them to do all and follow their advises. But her parents too didn't expect that it would be a heavy cost to let her study in the university. The daily need she has to have in order to go to school. They are not financially ready for it. Her university is an hour bus trip from her home. Everyday she would travel back and forth. The cost of transport and her allowance for meal and other school needs was tough to budget. And most of all the high tuition fees. She survived the first semester of her first year until her parents told her that she cant continue going to college because of their financial status. It saddened her and she felt really unlucky to be in a poor family. She was determined to finished her college so she asked her parents for this 2nd semester to get enrolled. She said she will apply for a scholarship in her university and work hard to finished her course in college. She is very persistent to continue no matter what it takes. She asked her bestfriend for a little help she can give. Mary's parents supported her dreams and lend her a little amount to pay her tuition and her parents made a loan from friends for this semesters tuition fee. She promised to herself that she will not let down her parents and her future. She decided aggressively and determined to focus on finishing her studies on that university no matter how hard it could be.
After her application for university scholarship she chooses to be a school representative in the Theater arts. Three of them from her class applied they had been her friends too. They were the closes acquintances and became her buddies. The organization was called STAGE. The category for the scholarship is from 25%-50%-75%-100% depending on the role of each member and their contribution of services to the organization to represent the name of the university both in local and nationwide. Getting in is quiet difficult because she don't have any experience being on stage and performing arts except for the pageant shows she joined in the passed. They were asked to act, there is an initiation like of that fraternity its also the same like a brotherhood and sisterhood. The foundation of it is trusting each other. Being one family and helping one another. She thought they would never passed but they were chosen to be apprentice for the nxt 3 months. They are not yet eligible for the scholarship discount in this semester. It will take effect on the next enrollment. But atleast she got in. So she feel lucky and blessed. Everyone is kind and supportive towards the new members. They were interviewed and made a short briefings of their roles as a theatre artist. Their upcoming school events and their roles were given in advance. Its like giving them assignment. They had to do researches and gathering informations. Buying props or making them. Making tickets for the shows and marketing too. Selling outside or doing solicitation letters for their production. The school gives them allowances for every shows they will do. There are also outside of school shows where they are being rent for a show in a certain event and they are getting paid or sponsorship for the big shows. It was a fun and adventure type of life. She love being a part of it. She had learned a lot of new things too and meet all kinds of people from the circle and outside of the circle. She also gains her confidence more and their group is famous too. Everyday there is a rehearsals and more practice everytime they have an event or a shows. She learned a lot on music, acting, lights effect and stage management. Her forte was on make-up artist because she was good at drawing so its also easy for her to do it. She is the backstage gamer everytime there is a show. she did everyones make-up before they appear on stage. She also acts on stage but mostly not the main character. She prefer being on the backstage as a support.
The time flies so fast 2 years passed and she is now on her 3rd year of college when she finally gets the 100% scholarship grant. She also became an officer of their organization. She was appointed as vice-president, the members decided to give her the chair for VP for her constant loyalty and big support to the organization. Yearly, as usual they will gather new members for apprenticeship and trained them. As a VP she is in-charge of the membership and their scoring. They trust her judgement and she is very dedicated and focus on the things she is assigned to do. Balancing between studies and her organization she managed to do it smoothly. This year they have a big event that will showcase the three group in performing arts namely the STAGE, Dance troupe and Chorale. They are the two other organization that offers scholarship like with the STAGE which is her group. They all have their own organization offices in the University hall. There were 4 corner rooms which serves as their offices the other one is the office of their director. The Director of Arts managed the 3 organization it is the main management office. Its the one that decides their calendar of activity. The upcoming event is the collaboration of the three group. It is a big show for this year. They were all quiet busy preparing for this big event and at the same time the midterm examination is coming too. Study, classes and afterward rehearsals for the show. It was an everyday struggle and tiring for everyone. But they all do their designated duties without compromising their studies. It maybe each unique skills. The balance life of being a scholar. As they are all busy with practices and run-throughs each members of the groups got to get closed and make friends with each other. They develop a close friendship and allies. It was a great opportunity to get them work together in one show. Its a musical theatre show with the dance acts too. The show was entitled RANGA where its production is featuring the three groups of arts. The actors, singers and dancers play it professionally and deliver the shows full of entertainment.
Every after show there will be a food shared for everyone. Its like a price for hardwork and caring for all the artist. Its a token of appreciation. The show runs for 1 month. It was tiring and exhausting but all are doing their best to deliver the good show for the viewers. The audiences are the students of the school and from other invited schools and some outsiders. The full house can accommodate up to 300 people. The hall can only hold up to 400 maximum of audiences. But 30% of the space inside the hall is the stage itself. Needs backstage and a place for artists before the show starts. Upon running the shows for the whole month Ada met Romy who is a member of chorale he is a transferee student from the big city he is handsome 6'2" tall with Spanish blood. He has a looked of that like a foreigner. They became friends and Romy started to be always following her and compossing songs for her. He is very good at all kinds of instrument specially the piano. Sometimes he would just suddenly pop up on her face and scare her. One day he showed her a carving of their name together inside a heart shape carved on the bark of a mango tree. That was so sweet of him. His gestures where implying her that he likes her more than friends and after a month even when their show finished running he will still see her anytime they are free. Most of the the time in their office. He would befriend everyone and he always sticks around. After 2 month they got this mutual understanding but not as a relationship between bf or gf its just mutual. They treat each other special, but he is a gentleman. He would asked if he could kiss her. And she let him too. Their relationship is not that deep because she was not ready to go on that level and she told him about her stands with being in a relationship. Although she had turned 18 she still managed to not get too deeply involved with men. She is conservative on her own way, although she is sweet with everyone either boys or girls she still has her limits to keep. After another month of trying Romy gave up on her. He soon finds someone new with her collegues. She thinks he is a possessive kind of guy and he has a temperament. And that character she don't like to be bothered by. So she let him go.
The relationship between the artists groups grow much closer as they had many following collab shows inside and outside of their school. They got to travel together in one bus and many had became friends with others some had find their pair. One day they had this show outside and she happens to be seated next to this familiar face from the chorale group a guy that looks like a Chinese mestizo. He introduce himself first his name is Sid. They got this time chatting and getting to know each other and sharing ideas with each other. She found out that he is a year senior than her and that he is already graduating this year. He came from a poor family and he is the youngest child among his other 11 siblings. His father died in serviced a military man while he was still young. He has this smiling face always that makes him more attractive and funny. And he loves to sing. He even sings to her and he has a very good voice. No wonder he is in chorale group Ada thought. That's where their friendship starts.. so many more things happen after that meeting with Sid..

Find out on the next chapter. To be continue..
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Her Life... (Fiction) Chapter 4

Ada wakes up by the knocking at her doorstep. She heard her mother calls out to her and said that she had a visitor outside. She then hurriedly get up and wash-up. While she was changing she is thinking who could it be? She wasn't expecting any visitors coming this Saturday so she planned to get up late in the morning. She wondered who is her visitor. As she was going out to the veranda she saw Win standing near by the gate probably waiting for her in tense feeling. She was shocked what brought him here in their house and why he showed his face to his mother. She's feeling so nervous at the same time mad at him. She approached him with a sharp look in her eyes as if she is trying to warn him to go home and get lost. But she don't want her mother to know about their relationship so she introduce him to her mother as her classmate. She acts casual and normal in front of her mother. Her mother leaved them to talk and prepare some food in the kitchen. 

As she was talking to Win her voice gets elevated but low in volume she don't want her mother to hear them. She argued with him,"What's wrong with you? Why did you come here without notifying me first? We had an agreement that this must be kept secret to my family. Why your not doing what I told you to do? And I don't want to see you after what you did to me yesterday. I hate you! Go home! I don't want to talk about it here.. I will give you time to explain but not today, not here. Lets talk after school on Monday." Win was determined to speak to her, he said "Im really sorry for what happened yesterday. Im really at lost right now, I don't know what to do.. (he got tears in his eyes) I don't want to lose you Ada. Im really very very sorry. Sorry. Im so sorry if I hurt you. Im sorry if I disappointed you. I will not let it happen again. Promised!" She almost got convinced with the tears in his eyes but she is determine to give him a punishment. She just keep silent and asked him to leaved.

The days were short and its soon Monday. The day of her judgement towards Win. She is having a heavy heart and its painful to leaved him this way. But she also had her principles and virtues which she gives more value and its important for her to follow her own rules in her life. She sets those limits and bounderies for her protection. She must do and follow the rules she sets for herself. After school, Win was waiting for her in their meeting place beside the school garden under the mango tree. They sat on the bench and discussed of their feelings towards each other. Win was trying to hold her hand but she refused. She said, "Those things you did to me will never ever happen again. I think its better this way to avoid further temptation. I decided to break-up with you. Im sorry too if this has to end so soon. If you really love me you will understand. This relationship is not my priority in life now. Maybe after I graduate college I will make time and get real serious relationship. I have my goals to achieved. But if you can wait until that moment maybe if were really meant to be with each other time will tell when it is. For now, I cant continue with our relationship. To be honest, I have lost the love I feel for you and I realized it when you come to my house. I realized that you would only put me in so much trouble its good that my mother didn't suspect us or find it out. So this is goodbye. I want you to know that I will not forget you because you were my first kiss but sad to say its not the way I fantasized my first kiss to be. You ruined my dream, for that I will never forget you." Ada said lastly, its for giving him a bitter-sweet feeling of their break-up.

Win couldn't do anything anymore with Ada's decision. He regreted so badly with his behavior. He ruined everything in their relationship. Maybe he doesn't really deserved her. She's fragile and naïve, yet very intelligent girl. He messed-up everything, his future towards her and his plans for them. Win decided to moved-out to another school. He cant bare the pain seeing her everyday out of his reach. Its painful to feel that love is one-sided. So he decided to move-away from Ada. Never to see her again. Life goes on.. That's what he said to himself. 

Ada on the other hand graduated Highschool with honors. She really is one of the brightest student in their class. Her parents and family were all so proud of her. And they are all looking forward to a better and brighter future for Ada. Ada was thinking where to enroll in college? She want to be her bestfriend Mary, so she go to the university where they will both enroll when they passed the entrance exam. She is hoping for the best to get admitted. Its a famous university in their town and has a good reputation nationwide. Luckily they got in, she enrolled herself in the college of arts and sciences major in computer because she wants to be an office IT-girl. While her bestfriend Mary enrolled in college of business administration major in Tourism because she wants to be a Flight attendant. They both look and feel excited for their upcoming college life. Another 4 years of struggling.

Until here for now..see you in the next chapter.

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Her Life... (Fiction) Chapter 3

After 3 months Ada's parents lost their business. They struggled for the the first two month in order to meet their needs specially on their daily expenses for food and schooling. Her father was looking for a new way to get money for their family to survived. But luck has been hard on them this time. For the meantime her father rode a tri-cycle and fetch passengers all over the village. Ada is also on her senior high, one more year to graduate high school. And like any other teenage girls she also had a puppy love or young love at the age of 15. But her parents were strict specially her mother. She is not allowed to have a suitors until she's 18 and finished college before boyfriend. Because she was the eldest child she is obligue to look after their family second to her parents. She must prioritised helping her parents first before herself. That was her principle and virtue. She wants to be the good sheep and her parents got high expectations towards her future. She is wise and smart amongst other kids in their neighborhood. But she didn't feel that way, for her everything is just normal. But she got a charisma within her. everywhere she go she is easily befriended and mostly boys go around her. She is physically slim with an oval shape face, big eyes in almond shape and long lashes. Her hair was long and curly brown. She physically look like a Spanish mestiza. Her skin is fair. And her body figure was like that of a model with her height of 158cm. She is always being asked to join beauty contest in their town and village. And she joined on some of them and won the crown. Sometimes there is a cash prize and a trophy. She would gladly give her cash prize to her mother. That way she can help even for a little amount. Her parents were so proud of her.

In the middle of her school year she met a guy who was a transferee student. His name is Win, he is a childhood friend of Bert who's one of her close friend in their class. Bert introduced him to her. "Oh Hi Ada! How are you? Im here with Win he's my bestfriend since childhood. He wants to meet you when he saw you the other day." Bert said in an excited tone. And suddenly Ada's face turns red. She felt a bit shy in front of the new guy but she held herself and bravely smile back to them and say," Oh Im fine, Thank you!", she answered and looked at the new guy while being shy and say," Hi Win! Its nice to meet you. How are you? Are you going in our class? Where did you saw me the other day?", she asked non-stop and chuckled. She felt like a dumb girl when she realized it. But Win had some serious face yet charming and his eyes were small and shining while looking at her. They have the same height and so she noticed his kissable lips. She felt a goosebumps behind her back. She is attracted to him. But she is also aware that Win like her if not why would he bother Bert to meet her. Her imagination were cut by his voice to answer her questions,"Hi Ada! Its nice to finally meet you. I saw you the other day with Bert and some of your friends going out of the Gate after school. I was about to greet my friend here Bert and ask him to go back home together since we are just neighbor. But you and your friends were walking way too fast I couldn't catch up and I had been shy to bother you too. Until I saw Bert last night on the street and asked him about you. Its just sad that we cant be at the same class. But can we be friends then? And can I court on you? I really like you.." he asked her straightly. Ada's brain suddenly stop working and her heart was pounding so fast.. She wasn't ready for that last question. Although many had asked her the same she would easily turn them down. But with Win she was hesitant to answer, she actually didn't know what to say maybe because she like him too. But she involuntarily utter a word in a small voice,"Ok, sure we can be friends now". She wasn't sure if she agreed or not on his last question. She keep silent. Then the bell rings, they all rush back to their classrooms. Win was waving her a goodbye kiss while she was walking away and say bye-bye to him. Ada's heart was jumping and excitement pour, she's looking forward on their new friendship. She cant wait to see him again at school. She know she would this way everyday. This maybe what they call it Puppy love or young love.

After 3 months of Win's courtship towards her, she finally decided to answer him when she was being asked to be his girlfriend. While Win was waiting for her after her class finished he wrote a small note for here, Its a simple love letter in a heart shape white paper. Its written, "To my sweet Ada, You are the most beautiful accident that ever happened to me. The first time I laid my eyes on you I was determined to be with you and make you mine. I want to love you for as long as I live. I don't know why I feel the way I feel now, I just know that I love you, I wish we can be together as a couple and I want to hear you say the same. I will be waiting here for you. Loving you so much, Win." The letter was passed to her from Win by Bert. The class end earlier time and the teacher dismissed them early. Its as if God is giving her this moment and sign to be with Win. While they were walking towards the Gate of school Win hold her hands while asking her, "Did you get my letter?" his eyes were so charming and his gestures were so sweet than usual. She just nodded to answer him back. He then ask her, "Will you be my girlfriend?". She looked at him in the eyes and pulled him to a nearby bench, they sat and talk. She told him, "Win, I appreciate your every effort and your time to be with me and all those sweet gestures and always picking me up after school to send me safely to my home eventhough its a secret to be kept from my parents that you are courting me your still taking the risk if we get caught. I will gladly be your girlfriend, but I cant let this be known by others, Im scared if my parents find out. Can we keep it as a secret first?" Suddenly Win took something out of his pocket, it was a silver ring with an ENDLESSLOVE carvings. He put it on her finger and kissed her hand with the ring on. He assured her that everything will happen according to her plan. If she want their relationship to be kept secret for the meantime he will respect her decision. And for that she love him more now for his understanding and support with her decision between them. She get back home a little late because she spend a little more time to be with Win they visit the Church and pray together. They pray for guidance in their relationship. Ada is a strong believer and she never ceases to pray for everything in her life. She is born to be closer to God. That is what she believes in always. 

But things happen for a reason, if its meant to be it will be. Ada and Win had their relationship going on smoothly for 3 months since she became his girlfriend until one late afternoon. As usual Win would wait for Ada after class, that time Ada was a cleaner and she was the monitor in their class. It was her duty to check at everything in their classroom if everything has been cleaned and kept properly. Everything seems all good. She was alone in the class room because everyone had leaved soon after their task, she finishes her task late because she did the final check, but she realized that its getting dark already its 6pm and so she shut down all the windows when she was sure that everything are good and clean inside their room. The teacher's table were in place. She was about to close the light when suddenly Win pop up from the doorway. She jump back and got scared. He said," What is taking you so long? I was waiting for an hour already in our meeting place but your not passing by and its getting dark already. I come to see if your still here in your room and I was right." He was a bit annoyed. "Where is everyone?" he asked her when he noticed that she was alone there. She told him that everybody left already after their tasks done and she said sorry for keeping him to wait. She then told him she is ready to leave now and while walking towards the door Win suddenly pushes her back towards the wall and close the door behind them. He was looking furious and different as if he wants something from her. She felt different, she's confused of what's going on and everything is happening too fast. Win never utter a word and just turned off all the lights. It had become so dim and she didn't get any chance to speak again because he was kissing her roughly as if she was being punished for keeping him wait for her. It's her first kiss. And it felt so warm, his body is pushing her towards the wall and hugging her tightly she can barely move and escape from his grasped. Until they both felt breathless and Win suddenly loosen her and take her to the teachers table trying to pin her down. And she had almost got carried away when he started to explore on her under shirt while kissing her neck and sucking her skin like a thirsty vampire on the movie. He was so passionately caressing her. Everything is new to her and she really don't know what to do but she feel good on what he is doing to her. Her knees are weakening and she feel like she is in another world. He was about to unbuttoned her blouse when suddenly she realized that this was all wrong.. It shouldn't be happening. She had her virtues to keep her virginity and herself to the man she will marry. Her mind is screaming and she hurriedly try to pushed him away but he wont let go of her and continue doing what he wants to do. Then her tears fall down she couldn't stop crying and that moment Win hear her crying and looked at her. He then  loosen her, while fixing herself she looked at him asking,"Win why did you do that to me? Your losing your respect to me. Why did you do that? Why? What has come in to your mind? Are you mad and want to punished me? You know that were not allowed to do it yet. Where still young and its not yet time. Why did you lose control?". All these questions she asked him with an angry tone. She was disappointed with what Win did to her. But Win just sat down the chair in front of the blackboard and cover his face with a lot of sweat drifting all over his body he is trying to get calm. He maybe felt shamed on what he did to her. Then he walks towards her after he calms down, she moves back while he was trying to reach her hand. He is now in control of himself, he said "Im really very sorry for what I did, I shouldn't did that to you. Im really really sorry Ada. Will you ever forgive me? please? Promise it will never happen again. I promised! I just got carried away by the situation. I did what I felt to do and lose my control. I cant help myself for doing it to you I was so attracted to you. Im so so sorry my sweet please forgive me. He started to cry too. While wiping his own tears with his handkerchief Ada walks away through the door and gone out leaving him in the room. She was running away from him. She rushed home and never speak with anyone and gone to her bedroom crying in silence. Thinking of what will happen next in their relationship. She falls asleep from that thoughts.

To be continued on the next chapter.

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Thank you!

Her Life...(Fiction) Chapter 2

The memories of Ada's childhood keeps playing on her mind while watching and experiencing the difficulties of life in her present teenage life. She misses those old good days, how to live simple and happy. As she was on her nostalgic moment her mother called out, "Adaaa! Hurry up and move your butt up from the chair. Why are you always lost in your thoughts? are you falling inlove with someone?". "No Mom, I was just recalling the old times when we were happy living a simple life. Time move so fast and it makes our life change after Dad retire from his work. All had been difficult, everything becomes lifeless. I wish we could turn back time." she murmured as she approached her Mom to the kitchen. Ada help her mom in the kitchen cooking for some snacks to sell in the neighborhood. After her mom packed the snacks she will go out with her younger brother Miko to sell the snacks. They will sell all of it and bring the money to their mother. Usually they sold 100 pcs. They can get half profit and it will be their living expense for the next day. While her father would also sell fish around the neighborhood using his bicycle. They can still cope in their daily needs and get to save some for emergency. Her mother is a good money saver, she did everything to help her father in raising money for their family. They worked hard together to support their needs. As she and her brothers were growing their needs also grow. Her parents must think of an option on how to continue supporting them and their schooling. 

She is now in her Junior High when suddenly an opportunity knocks on their door. Their neighbor Mrs. Ming who is a Chinese businesswoman approached her parents and offer her stall in the market for rent temporarily until her son decides to take over her business which is a merchandise and rice supply. It will be left vacant because her son doesn't want to go with their family business. So Mrs. ming told her parents,"If you want you can put a small canteen there." The rent is cheap and her parents agreed. They soon started their small canteen. Ada's parents love to cook and they are both good at it. Her father was a former cook in the boat that's why they decided to put up a food business. As time goes by their canteen was doing all well and many customers are eating there. They hire 2 helpers to wash the dishes and be waitress. Her parents asked her mother's sisters Joy and Teri to be the helper in their canteen. They soon join in and more customers are pouring specially jeepney drivers because there are waitress. Their canteen is located near the jeepney terminal that is why mostly the customers are drivers and conductors. But there are also passerby who eats in their canteen. Their life becomes happy again and little by little they save money to renovate their house into a concrete one. Little by little they can buy appliances like TV and Refrigerator and the a gas stove for their house. Ada and her siblings can now enjoy watching TV at the comfort of their home. They don't need to peek on theirs neighbors window anymore. They can also enjoy the cold water on the fridge and make some ice candy. They feel lucky to get this chance in life and get the opportunity to get the better taste of life. Ada's neighbors were jealous of her parents success specially her Father's siblings. They will make gossip in the neighborhood against her family. But her Parent did nothing towards them. They just continue what they needed to do for their family and their future. Her parents work hard in their business for 3 years. When suddenly the wheels of life turns again...

Mrs. Ming approaches her mother one day. "Mrs. Ming! How are you? What brought you here today?" her mother joyfully greet her then Mrs. Ming smiled back. "Im here to discuss something." Mrs. Ming said. Her mother has no idea what is it all about. She thought it was nothing related to their business. "Yes, Mrs. Ming what is it?" her mother asked. Then there starts their long conversation about her parents business and their canteen is at risk. Ada was just quietly sitting by the window and looking outside while she listens to their conversation. She felt the heaviness in her mother's heart. She waited silently for their conversation to be over. After Mrs. Ming leaved she asked her mother about their conversation. Her mother sit down in the sofa with her and told her everything. "Mrs. Ming wants to take back the stall from us immediately, because her son wants to start new business and they need the stall now. She also reminded me that it was temporary when she lend it to us. And now that her son decided to do their business she wants to take it back. She apologised for this sudden notice. She gave us 3 more months to run the canteen." her mother almost cry with a shoulder down while telling it to her but she cant do anything about it. In the evening when her father came home her mother discussed it with him. Ada saw her father's face turns gloomy. But as usual, his attitude was just go with the flow. " There is nothing we can do. Those 3 years had been helpful to us. We'll find ways to survived. We are lucky enough to experience that part in our life. We learn new things." her father concluded trying to look strong for her mother. He encouraged her mother that they can find ways for new business. "I can do any work to feed this family and give you a good life. Just believed in me and we can work on this together for our family." her father said while giving her mother a shoulder to lean on. Ada's heart felt warm and wet seeing her parents like that. She is thankful to have them as her parents and she wished to be the same when she grow up and have her own family.

Then 3 months passed by so fast...

To be continued..

Thank you for reading and keep updated on the next chapter.