Helpless for my dream

Last night i couldnt think of any valid reason to make Him agree to buy us a car. Well its one of my dream but thats not the reason why i suddenly want us a car now. He'd been always on doubt that we couldnt handle it and that i cant manage our expenses for living.. He would give up so easily on this matter. And hated this idea. A proper and more convenient way to transportation is to have our own service. Yet, still even now that i bought a scooter to take us to places we want and need to go, he's still not convince of our safety to ride on it. And when i asked him to have us a car for us to be comfortable on our travel he wouldnt give his yes to what i want for our family's transporting services. I just cant accept it that instead of giving me an answer like in a proper voice tone or nice way of discussing thing like a real partner in life instead of directly disagreeing on my idea. As a wife i would think that it seems like he doesnt trust me hundred percent on any decision or idea i would suggest on him. Hes always the boss between us.. I felt disappointed. It makes me feel like i have no right at anything at all to decide on things.. I understand his worries, but also need his trust for me to be able to strived harder on what he is expecting of me. How can i give my best when even if im not starting yet a project he would judge me and my ability so badly.. He didnt even give me some benefit of the doubt or encouraging words to let me think of a much better decision. He would think of so many negative things first before considering a second thought on what im saying. I think its not fair too.

The taste of my Love

I made this special dishes... Practicing now my cooking skill for my beloved husband!

Cooking for Love..

It says that you get your man's love through his stomach.. definitely! I must agree as to what most woman would advise particularly the oldies in their generation.. Well, maybe there's half the truth to that statement. Why dont we asked the boys out there? who do you prefer to love? The one who can cook or the one who cant? whatever your answer is just keep it to yourself now, as for me i would guess the first one. But i would want to share something about me, maybe some other woman would have this kind of experience too.. actually i am not really the type of girl who wants or loves cooking before. I live my life so easily, i mean i do as i please like im kinda easy go lucky person. And i wasn't thinking or too much on a focus for the food thing, my mom and dad usually cooks for us.. so i didn't bother my self to do so in the kitchen. Yes Im that lazy brat..(LOL) but things has changed. Suddenly i felt this enthusiasm to do on the kitchen, been very inspired to cook for my love this past few days, eventhough his not at home yet i dont want to missed any single day to boost my chance on cooking delicious food that he would or maybe love to eat till he comes home. Im willing to exert much much more effort just to make it perfect and make sure that cupid spell is on my dishes.. hehehe Yes Im definitely going crazy about the idea. And its all because of him... for Love!

And Goodluck to me!

God bless you all! Have a nice day...c",)

Reality!

Sometimes it all seems so hopeless.

Half the world goes to sleep hungry. Today’s news may bring one “regional conflict” to the forefront of our attention, even as the other dozen wars rage on, with one group of human beings hacking off the limbs, burning down the villages or pulverizing the shopping centers of another group. And if you’re fortunate enough to live in a more civilized part of the world, you can observe the more civilized forms of man’s cruelty to man, as people break each other’s hearts and trample everything good in themselves underfoot in the rampage for money, power and “self-realization.”

You want to do something, but it all seems so hopeless. You can feed a hungry child, yet millions more remain hungry. For every kind word you speak, so many nasty, hurtful, antagonistic words are spoken all over the world. For every good deed you do, so many evil deeds are committed. What can you possibly hope to achieve?

God bless you all! Have a nice day...c",)

The thought of it..

Never in my life that i imagine my life state will be like this.. the road is narrow and long and i was just starting my race. But i dont want to rush on the finish line, i still need some more time. Lately my heart is in pain and i dont have any idea what could be the cause of it. When the pain rush in i could think of dying unjustly, im not ready for it. i still want to do more things, i still want to be of use in this world.. but i dont know if this world still needs me.. if its God's will i cant complain more. If He had a better plan for us i will entrust my whole being for the sake of it.  

God bless you all! Have a nice day...c",)

Pretending

Sometimes i would feel this way.. i think its the best way to guard my emotions that wants to burst out.. Pretending is my weapon against my own emotion. Its been there always whenever it needed to be. Just like right now, my husband seems to be fully loaded his work schedule and doesn't have much time again for us his own family, Im trying my very best to understand and consider all about our situation and his work.  Putting on my mind that he's just being responsible to be able to provide for our food and shelter. But i couldn't accept it wholeheartedly that he will always be leaving us and being far away.. Its not just material things we needed here, dont you think so? I dont think so too.. more than anything we needed his precious time to be with us. Were not growing socially and as a couple ofcourse we also need quality time to spend with each other.. whenever he leaves me i feel like Im being a single parent to our children, i couldn't feel the presence of a partner.. And what can i do but to accept our situation, as if i had any other choice and pray that he could grant my wishes to stay beside me and raise our children together holding hands. Its really hard to struggle about it anymore.. because the more i complain and argue with him the more it gets complicated and i will be misunderstood and we'll never again talk until our pains subside. so all i do now is to pretend that it doesn't matter whatever he decides about his work.. no more complaining.. i dont want to speak a lot anymore.. He knows how i feel and i know that he knows what to do with it.

God bless you all! Have a nice day...c",)

Seized the day!!

I've been beating myself up about not writing more often, but I have to say that I've been busy doing things I love (not that I don't love blogging, quite the contrary! I just have many loves in my life) and creating and just enjoying myself. So this morning I decided I would just celebrate the fact that I am creating and happy and being productive — and enjoying it all the while. Are you doing what you love, at least a little bit, every day? Life is too short not to enjoy it! 

God bless you all! Have a nice day...c",)