Unnecessary thoughts

Lately been bothered by the words and gestures from someone in the past. And I know Im not supposed to feel this way towards him, but i must be honest atleast to myself that i am affected when he is saying the words I LOVE YOU to me. I mean that was way too late after 17 years. He keep on saying those words even if i dont reciprocate it. What good will it do in my present life, yes it makes me shiver hearing those words from him and his caring way of always thinking how am i doing. He's wishing to take care of me and wanting to do the things he did before for me like giving me a foot massage, cooking and sometimes doing my laundry. Taking me to places where i needed to go. Accompany me wherever i want to go. Keeping me around with his circle of friends. Being strict from time to time like a big brother to me. Getting jealous when I get closed to other boys of the same peer. All those times he said he valued it. He has kept it in his heart until now and forever. He said he wished to walked with me again in the mountains with the trees. Bring me to the beach where he used to Date me. All this words he is telling to me now. Its just a feeling of nostalgia. Im just confused why he only remember the good times the most. He forgot the vital part in our relationship, the time when he abandoned me with our child in my womb. That one was the crucial part of my life. And I will never forget that painful feeling.

But the reality is right in front of me now. I love my family and my husband. My family took me away from the darkness of my life. And I will not exchanged them for anything in this world. They are my world. I am thankful to God for giving me the opportunity to have my own family. And yet  this man is getting me involved in his ideal world. Imagining that I am his property and that we belong together. Just because we have a child. He couldn't even give his name to our child. He's pathetic. He dont own me. Maybe that was before i met my husband. I am confused with why he always keeps me in his thought. Telling me that he wished to see me again, that he wanted to spend time with me and he's bringing back the memories of the past. He said he misses me so much and my personality. He misses to hear my stories in life during our younger years, listening to my dreams and aspirations. He said he misses everything about me, like my being talkative and sharing him everything in my thoughts. Honestly, I kinda missed my old self too. Now i put restrictions to myself since i got married. Im not young anymore and should take more precautions in my relationship with my partner in life.

But he is always reminding me of my old self and somehow I realized that im losing myself little by little. He made me realized my worth. But then again i know he just wanted to make it with me, he only wants to get intimate with me. I am not a fool to believed him of his feelings towards me now. It could be true or he is just playing around. I dont want to assumed that he really meant what he is saying. Even saying that he'd see me soon, that he'd find me wherever i am, that he'd take me back, he is such a crazy guy. Living in the illusion that i still love him and that i just dont want to admit it to myself?! Thats insane. I mean he is a married man for God sake and Im a committed wife its not on my league to be a mistress. I hate that kind of thought. I just pity his wife for what he is doing behind her back. Its already a form of cheating even if there's no physical contact in between us. He said that he is dreaming of those moments with me in bed. Even if its just in his thoughts. And he had dreams of me always on his sleep. Its far more a sin to love someone aside from your own spouse. The heart's that beat for someone is the scary part. Its a form of betrayal. Its my opinion and its my own principle. I am a one man woman. One can only love one person and not two or more. You can care for everyone but love to only one. And i directly told him that. He knows my love for my husband is pure and i love him so much. I just wished i could share my thoughts like this matter to my husband without him judging me or thinking in advanced of what Im feeling and trust me too.

On the other hand though i felt flattered by his admiration towards me, knowing he has these kind of feelings towards me.. such attention can keep me alive for awhile. Feeling like a teenager once more. Those kind of attention i wished for my husband to give to me. He could have been a perfect husband then. But someone else does it.. and Im not that happy to received it from someone. It may be called a midlife crisis. Maybe he is bored with his wife and wanting to fill that empty space in his heart. I totally understand how he feels, but he needs to control it for the sake of his own children and the future of his own family even his own future. Anyway, i hope this person could finally realized that were through and im not gonna see him anytime in the future. He maybe the last man i would want to see when this world ends. If Im still alive by then. This phrase that tells "Regret is always at the end." is really true and applicable in everyone's life.

Happy New year Reflection

✨Happy New year! Welcome 2020 🤗😇🙏

Today we are about to say farewell to 2019. Welcome new year 2020, where mostly of us would say its a new chapter in our live's. For some its also the time to renew their life paths, go in a different direction. Find the better you, your purpose in life and searching for real happiness. We are never contented with the life we have now. We start all over again and make things much more better than the previous year. Every new year we always assumed good things to happen. We feel thankful that we live for another year and we are still given a chance to be a better person. To be with the most important people in our life.

For all the things that happened to us God is always with us. Whenever were in doubt, troubled, unsure, in pain, or experienced injustice we would always call for God's help. In this coming year, God can do it again. I want to share with you some words of wisdom. I hope you continue to read until end of this message and reflect in yourself. Thank you.

Psalm 78:11-12
They forgot what he had done, the wonders he had shown them. He did miracles in the sight of their ancestors in the land of Egypt, in the region of Zoan.

God performed miracle after miracle for the Israelites. He supernaturally brought them out of slavery. He sent plagues upon their enemies. When they came to a dead end at the Red Sea, with Pharaoh and his army chasing them, it looked like their lives were all over, but the water parted. They went through the sea on dry ground. God gave them water out of rock and led them by the cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night. But in spite of all of this, they never made it into the Promised Land.

Psalm 78 tells why. It says, "They forgot what God had done. They didn't remember His amazing miracles." When you forget what you should be remembering, it can keep you out of your Promised Land. The Israelites became discouraged, started complaining, and asked Moses, " Why did you bring us out here to die in the desert?" When they faced an enemy, they thought, "We dont have a chance." They already had seen God do the impossible, but because they forgot about it, they were afraid, worried, and negative. It kept them from their destiny.
Are you forgetting what God has done for you? Have you let what once was a miracle become ordinary? It doesn't excite you anymore. You dont thank God for it. Look back over your life and remember that God brought you to where you are, big things and small things. You'll know if God did it for you once, He can do it for you again. You may get discouraged and think, "I dont see how I'll ever get out of this problem." But when that happens, go back and remember the Red Seas that God has parted for you. Everyone of us can look back and see the hand of God in our lives. God has opened doors that should have never opened for you, just as He did for the Israelites. He's helped you accomplish things you never could have accomplished on your own. He's brought you out of difficulties that you thought you'd never survive. He's protected, promoted, and given you opportunity. Remember that God brought you to where you are, big things and small things. Dwell on the fact that Almighty God has been and is on your side. Stand on the fact that He's promised to fight your battles for you. He can do it again.

Prayer:
Father God, thank You for all the amazing things You've done in my life, for the victories You've helped me win, for the restoration, the vindication, and the favor You've shown. Help me to remember the doors You've opened for me and for the times You've protected, promoted, and given me opportunities. Amen.

Awkward Feeling

Lately i had been feeling down and disappointed with my situation. I could'nt hardly say what Im really feeling inside towards my husband. Because Im scared of him. I could'nt directly be true to him and to myself of what i really wanna say. Whenever I ask him about getting me a visa to japan he will immediately reject me. When I want to tackle an issue with regards to acquiring my japan visa, he wont allow me to get one. Im so confused and i dont really understand why he is being like this to me. It is as if I dont deserved it. Or maybe i am missing an important details about his being defensive towards it. On why he kept me distance and isolated from his life back in Japan. He always say that its not needed, that were not going to japan anytime soon, or we dont have enough money to travel. He make a lot of reason and excuses which for me are so shallow.. I feel disrespected for until now he didn't even once make a move or make plan to make me meet his parents in Japan. Eventhough his parents are not really well. I feel hopeless and sometimes devastated of this situation. I can only speak this to myself because my voice is not always being heard. He only listens to himself and not really sensitive to my feelings. Its weird to feel that he seemed stranged and too difficult to understand. Its so unfair for me and my children to be disregarded of what we really deserved. I only want to meet his parents and greet them.. Get to know the family of my husband, go to the place where he grew up and meet his siblings.. Why is it so difficult? Why is he giving me this mental torture and emotional abuse? This isn't proper, I dont deserved his negligence towards how and what i feel. Im his wife and the mother of his children. Im afraid that when the time comes i will not be able to meet my parents in-law face to face and alive. I dont want to go there to just attend a funeral... It really saddened me to see him so cold hearted. I dont have peace of mind. It unhealthy and im unhappy. I hope one day he wont regret being unfair to me. I hope he'd be more open to me without ending into arguments. I just want to feel whole.. He owe me a lot of things.. his history of cheating, of losing our wedding ring, of not giving me a proper wedding ceremony, of not giving me credit to acquired japan visa and many other things, inspite of me giving him my whole life and continue supporting him. for being his backbone during those hardtimes. Im feeling unappreciated.. Hope someday he'd find it in his heart my pure love is always here for him. 

Life is short, so make the most of it and live a meaningful one.

Yesterday, I heard of the sad news from a close friend that his wife passed away, we were like siblings during our college years. I am mourning deep within for the lost of a loved-one. His wife suffered from cancer and upon this sickness she was also pregnant during this period. Its a heavy burden for her, but she kept strong until she gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Too late for them to realized and noticed the disease. Its a traitor disease.. very deadly and agonizing. Since hearing the news that she had been diagnosed with cancer that is really at the advanced stage they felt that they've been hit by a badluck. Stage 4 cancer is tough and it can hardly get recover. But in rare cases through chemotheraphy there is a chance of recovering if its still at the early stage but stage 4 and 5 is so unlikely to be cured. During her chemo treatment her health rapidly go down and I can barely recognized her physical appearance. A once bubbly woman had become so slim and unlively. It breaks my heart seeing her suffer and I sympathized for my friends, they were together for almost 18 yrs and they had blessed with three wonderful kids.  Its a heartbreaking scene to see and be into. But they fight a good fight because they had a new baby, its really ironic. You cant distinguished the good and bad out of this situation. You will probably think that it's better to keep healthy body and live longer to take care and be with your family than bringing another child that will manifest the sickness within you. But a mother's love grow from within that keeping the child is much important because it is a life you are bringing, despite the chance that you might lose your own life. The one that would suffer in the end are the one's who are left behind. I symphatized for the father who had lost the mother of his children because from here and forward he will be the one to carry through the heavy baggage on his shoulder. Alone to make it through each day to survived in this world. I can imagine how hard it will be to carry on. A heavy heart, a worried mind and empty feelings all this at once is nothing but pain. It may take a lot of time to heal from it, but we must not lose track of our own life, of the one's that are living and we are held responsible. 

Because of this situation that I witness, I realized that life is really short and its unpredictable. Anything can happen at anytime and at any place. So we need to be prepared for the people who will be left behind when our time has come. Everything in this world doesn't last forever. We will all be history. Even this world that we are living will perished in time. So lets make the most of our remaining time, lets not worry too much and stressed ourselves too much it can only trigger a sickness in our body, live in a mindful manner and always feel grateful everyday that you are alive and you have another day to live. Enjoy and do things that will make you happy, don't hold back on your own happiness as long as your being responsible of the things and for the  people that matters to you. Travel as much as you can and embraced the world. Live a meaningful life, LIVE, LAUGH and LOVE. Life is too short to waste on time you have with your worries, anger, bitterness, loneliness and sadness. Stop fighting each other, instead appreciate each other. We are here for a purpose and that purpose is to love one another not to fight and kill each other. Wouldn't it be great if we are all living in peace and harmony. Every family can celebrate the daily walks of life and continue living life with love in their hearts. 

Before I end this topic, I want to share my own wishes before I die. If ever I'd be the first one to leave, I hope that my partner in life would feel in peace and continue the journey that we started in our family. I know that he is a responsible father. So im in peace and will give him my blessing to pursue his happiness. Continue what he loves to do and take good care of our children's future. I trust his decisions when it comes to our children's welfare. I want him to stay beside with our children when Im gone. Be their life teacher and advisor. And I want my children to listen and follow him. I also wish that we can unite with his parents and introduced them to our family. It is important for me, it will bring me more respect towards him and look-up to him as the gentleman of the house. I wish that I can travel to Egypt.. Last but not the least, I want my remains to be cremated and kept by my children in a jar inside their home. So that my spirit will stay with them. I will be your guidance forever in your hearts. Offer me a prayer everyday or write me a letter on your diary, I will surely read those. Finally, I can watch over you from heaven. So do all your best to live a good life. Never hurt anyone specially each other. Always be there for each other. Follow your dreams and aspirations. Reached all your goals. Everytime you do I will be clapping and smiling with your achievements. Always remember, If there's a will, there's a way. Never give up until the end. We will be together again. 

Her Life... (Fiction) Chapter 6

After the show of Ranga the three CCA artist group had their celebration at a beach resort. Everyone gathered to celebrate the successful shows they made. Everyone get along together having fun eating and drinking. Some of them went swimming and playing on the beach. By night everbody got tired and went back to their designated rooms. Each group get 2 rooms, one for boys and one for girls. The room was quiet crowded for everyone to fit. The drunkards soon fell asleep, while watching them sleep soundly Ada couldn't find her place to sleep. They were all occupied even on the floor. 15 people in one room cant be accommodated but she doesn't have a choice and she were already tipsy, she just wanted to lay her back and sleep anywhere. So she went outside and look for a place to settle, she went down at the hallway where there are long tables and a bench chair. While looking for a place to sleep she saw Sid sleeping on the table alone in a sitting position. The breeze from the sea was cold and he is just wearing plain white shirt and short. He caught him hugging himself in those cold air. She went closer to him and check upon him. He suddenly wakes up when he noticed her presence. Ada asked why he is sleeping in there. He should go back to his room and sleep there. He seems to be drunk too smilling so seductively at her. She finds him charming. He suddenly pull her closer and held her hand. Ada got shocked but she didn't get scared of his sudden gesture, she try to pulled back her hand but he's strongly holding it. He said he just wanted to talk for a while, and get to know her better. He also asked her why she isn't sleeping yet. She told him honestly that there were no place for her to sleep in their room. She was planning to sleep in one of the benches there and had brought her shawl to protect herself from cold air and mosquitos until she saw him there. He said it may be fate to be together in that moment. She seemed a bit tensed and she feel like wanting to run away from him and just find a place to sleep but she would also want to know him more. So they sit and talk for a while. It was just a normal conversation, getting to know each other's likes and dislikes. Sharing each others dreams. Telling her aspirations and her life from her past up to present. It was a long conversation and they didn't even notice the time until the sun starts to change the color of the sky. They were both so sleepy afterwards. It just ended like a normal day to day conversation with a friend. He is a gentleman and very much smart guy. He is also a good conversionalist and great listener. They enjoyed the whole night just talking and nothing else, now she seemed to trust him. 

On the second night of their stay something happened. Romy and his current girlfriend Rose had a fight. Romy got so drunk and he wanted to sleep together with Rose but it wasn't allowed to have such thing happen while they are having their school group activity. The director is held responsible for everyone on this trip. Although they were considered as lovers it's still against school rules on the morale of each students. Because romy was not on his proper mind at that moment he got too much alcohol in his sytem he didn't understand this rules. So Rose tried to make him understand until they got into a fight because Romy don't want to accept it. He got so angry and throw punches on the brick wall. He is in the beast mode, he became a mad man. At that moment when Ada witness this scenario she felt thankful that she didn't get to that level of being his girlfriend. He is a scary guy and had an obsessive, possessive attitude. Lucky for her to see through it before it happens, but she pitied Rose for being the victim of his possessiveness its more of a brutal kind of love. Physically and emotionally tiring. While Rose was crying and hiding in the room everyone comfort her and protected her from Romy. But because Romy was a tall guy and he is strong he managed to take Rose with him and dragged her down to the shore. Romy wanted to drown her and commit suicide. It was tense but the reason was so lame. She couldn't understand it. She tried to help tamed Romy but he is running away from everyone while carrying Rose on his shoulder. Sid was just looking at everyone he is also drunk and just sitting quietly, he looks like he isn't that affected or he just don't understand the situation. Ada guess he is too much drunk too. So the othe boys went and get back Rose from Romy. Its 6 boys against Romy. They managed to get Rose back in their room. When the situation calms a little, the boys and their director talk with Romy. And everything settled in the morning to leaved the beach resort. When Romy subsided from his drunkenness he apologized to everyone and asked Rose for forgiveness. Rose was a kind girl, so naived and submissive. She loves Romy too so she easily forgave him. But made him promised not to drink alcohol too much. That ended there, everyone was relieved and they just made a laugh out of it. But it was a serious situation anybody could get hurt its lucky that no ones been hurt.

While on their way back to the city everyone was quiet. Some of the students were sleeping inside the bus, while Sid and Ada was sitting together they talk about what happen last night. And ada told the whole story to Sid. He said he was too drunk to even remember things and how he fell asleep last night. He regretted he wasn't able to help. Ada said it was settled and it was fine now. Romy and Rose got back together again. Lucky Romy he finds Rose for a girlfriend he said to Sid and Rose is unlucky to have a boyfriend like him. Ada think Rose will not have a happy life with him because of his attitude. Sid didn't even comment against her statement. He just listen to her talking and answer her questions from time to time. Because of their trip they found a friend with each other. 

When they arrived back in the city, Sid made promised to keep in touch with Ada. He wants to see her often in school during their free time. She also agreed on that. As time passes by he continued being there to be her companion and a reliable friend. She develop a strong affection towards him. She thinks he was the perfect guy for her. She confessed her feeling towards him that she like him. But Sid said she is still young to think about love, he is encouraging her to dream more and achieved more. And that he is just there for her, He said he likes her too but he don't want to take advantage of her. He said he wants to be a responsible man so he wants to focus and finished his study first. They remained friends until he graduated from college. She attended the graduation ceremony because some of her friends and groupmates were graduating too. She attended the celebration of her other friends and just greet Sid a congratulations. Sid asked for their picture together as a souvenir. And invited her to go in his house to celebrate. His mother and sister was there and he introduced her to them. They also asked her to join in their celebration. But Ada already accepted her other friends invitation so she refused him. She taught it would be their last moment to see each other. She felt regret of not accepting his invitation. She continue to missed him on the following days. Even on their school vacation Ada still needs to attend their rehearsals, they still have an upcoming production show that they submitted for an entry on the national Theater contest. If they get chosen they will be sponsored and get free allowance weekly as talent fee. The school will also benefit from it because they will be carrying its name. The school president supported them and give them a proper approval to do their rehearsal at anytime until the contest and events happen. They kept busy, they rushed on their props and they worked hard day and night. They were allowed to sleep overnight within the school premises. Eventhough alcohol wasn't allowed in school, the boys managed to befriend the school guard and make them an ally to let them bring alcohol inside. Romy was also part of the production team as music scorer. He is the one behind all the soundtrack of their show. He is really a multi-talented when it comes to music. He is intelligent in science and math too. Its just that his attitude has a bit of temperament and moody sometimes. After their hardwork the boys would usually drink and talk about the plans for the show and how they can succeed. They are all responsible when it comes to their task. They were like a big family, a brothers and sisters by heart. They support each other. They share their laughter and tears. There is harmony in the group. 

To be continued on the next chapter..

Keep updated and thank you all for following my story.

Her Life... (Fiction) Chapter 5

University of St. Thomas (UST) is Ada's new school. College life is the most interesting stage in her life. Looking forward on moving up to the next level of her life she cant wait for it to start. So here it goes...
Being sweet sixteen they say is the youthfulness of all ages. A teenage girl turning into a lady in this brand new world. She was mesmerized by the ambiance and scenes at every corner of the school. The different types of students, their classes, status and fashion. It is a mixed feeling of emotions that greeted her while entering the university. Most of the students here are rich and because its this school's reputation. Some of them enter the school in wheels, plenty of handsome and pretty students around. She felt a bit awkward with them, she thinks it wasn't her agenda. She don't want to get associated with them. Ada and Mary part ways on the lobby area because they have different courses and different buildings. They are parted on by end to end buildings. Ada while entering her class make her usual self. She felt a bit nervous yet like everybody in that room they are all first timers. She soon got her own aquintances, some of her classmates were in the same situation as her, but some are rich fella and they looked so overly confident. New faces from different high schools. Some came all the way from the big cities to study there. Anyway, they were having tough time searching for their classrooms at first because it was a huge school. Their first week of school wasn't the formal class it was all just briefings and introductions. The week soon comes to end. It was easy and relax time for everyone. The struggles of college life is on the way on the following days.
Her parents were giving her advises now that she had entered college. They reminded her of her priorities in life. And still don't get into any relationships until she finishes her study in college. She made a promised to them to do all and follow their advises. But her parents too didn't expect that it would be a heavy cost to let her study in the university. The daily need she has to have in order to go to school. They are not financially ready for it. Her university is an hour bus trip from her home. Everyday she would travel back and forth. The cost of transport and her allowance for meal and other school needs was tough to budget. And most of all the high tuition fees. She survived the first semester of her first year until her parents told her that she cant continue going to college because of their financial status. It saddened her and she felt really unlucky to be in a poor family. She was determined to finished her college so she asked her parents for this 2nd semester to get enrolled. She said she will apply for a scholarship in her university and work hard to finished her course in college. She is very persistent to continue no matter what it takes. She asked her bestfriend for a little help she can give. Mary's parents supported her dreams and lend her a little amount to pay her tuition and her parents made a loan from friends for this semesters tuition fee. She promised to herself that she will not let down her parents and her future. She decided aggressively and determined to focus on finishing her studies on that university no matter how hard it could be.
After her application for university scholarship she chooses to be a school representative in the Theater arts. Three of them from her class applied they had been her friends too. They were the closes acquintances and became her buddies. The organization was called STAGE. The category for the scholarship is from 25%-50%-75%-100% depending on the role of each member and their contribution of services to the organization to represent the name of the university both in local and nationwide. Getting in is quiet difficult because she don't have any experience being on stage and performing arts except for the pageant shows she joined in the passed. They were asked to act, there is an initiation like of that fraternity its also the same like a brotherhood and sisterhood. The foundation of it is trusting each other. Being one family and helping one another. She thought they would never passed but they were chosen to be apprentice for the nxt 3 months. They are not yet eligible for the scholarship discount in this semester. It will take effect on the next enrollment. But atleast she got in. So she feel lucky and blessed. Everyone is kind and supportive towards the new members. They were interviewed and made a short briefings of their roles as a theatre artist. Their upcoming school events and their roles were given in advance. Its like giving them assignment. They had to do researches and gathering informations. Buying props or making them. Making tickets for the shows and marketing too. Selling outside or doing solicitation letters for their production. The school gives them allowances for every shows they will do. There are also outside of school shows where they are being rent for a show in a certain event and they are getting paid or sponsorship for the big shows. It was a fun and adventure type of life. She love being a part of it. She had learned a lot of new things too and meet all kinds of people from the circle and outside of the circle. She also gains her confidence more and their group is famous too. Everyday there is a rehearsals and more practice everytime they have an event or a shows. She learned a lot on music, acting, lights effect and stage management. Her forte was on make-up artist because she was good at drawing so its also easy for her to do it. She is the backstage gamer everytime there is a show. she did everyones make-up before they appear on stage. She also acts on stage but mostly not the main character. She prefer being on the backstage as a support.
The time flies so fast 2 years passed and she is now on her 3rd year of college when she finally gets the 100% scholarship grant. She also became an officer of their organization. She was appointed as vice-president, the members decided to give her the chair for VP for her constant loyalty and big support to the organization. Yearly, as usual they will gather new members for apprenticeship and trained them. As a VP she is in-charge of the membership and their scoring. They trust her judgement and she is very dedicated and focus on the things she is assigned to do. Balancing between studies and her organization she managed to do it smoothly. This year they have a big event that will showcase the three group in performing arts namely the STAGE, Dance troupe and Chorale. They are the two other organization that offers scholarship like with the STAGE which is her group. They all have their own organization offices in the University hall. There were 4 corner rooms which serves as their offices the other one is the office of their director. The Director of Arts managed the 3 organization it is the main management office. Its the one that decides their calendar of activity. The upcoming event is the collaboration of the three group. It is a big show for this year. They were all quiet busy preparing for this big event and at the same time the midterm examination is coming too. Study, classes and afterward rehearsals for the show. It was an everyday struggle and tiring for everyone. But they all do their designated duties without compromising their studies. It maybe each unique skills. The balance life of being a scholar. As they are all busy with practices and run-throughs each members of the groups got to get closed and make friends with each other. They develop a close friendship and allies. It was a great opportunity to get them work together in one show. Its a musical theatre show with the dance acts too. The show was entitled RANGA where its production is featuring the three groups of arts. The actors, singers and dancers play it professionally and deliver the shows full of entertainment.
Every after show there will be a food shared for everyone. Its like a price for hardwork and caring for all the artist. Its a token of appreciation. The show runs for 1 month. It was tiring and exhausting but all are doing their best to deliver the good show for the viewers. The audiences are the students of the school and from other invited schools and some outsiders. The full house can accommodate up to 300 people. The hall can only hold up to 400 maximum of audiences. But 30% of the space inside the hall is the stage itself. Needs backstage and a place for artists before the show starts. Upon running the shows for the whole month Ada met Romy who is a member of chorale he is a transferee student from the big city he is handsome 6'2" tall with Spanish blood. He has a looked of that like a foreigner. They became friends and Romy started to be always following her and compossing songs for her. He is very good at all kinds of instrument specially the piano. Sometimes he would just suddenly pop up on her face and scare her. One day he showed her a carving of their name together inside a heart shape carved on the bark of a mango tree. That was so sweet of him. His gestures where implying her that he likes her more than friends and after a month even when their show finished running he will still see her anytime they are free. Most of the the time in their office. He would befriend everyone and he always sticks around. After 2 month they got this mutual understanding but not as a relationship between bf or gf its just mutual. They treat each other special, but he is a gentleman. He would asked if he could kiss her. And she let him too. Their relationship is not that deep because she was not ready to go on that level and she told him about her stands with being in a relationship. Although she had turned 18 she still managed to not get too deeply involved with men. She is conservative on her own way, although she is sweet with everyone either boys or girls she still has her limits to keep. After another month of trying Romy gave up on her. He soon finds someone new with her collegues. She thinks he is a possessive kind of guy and he has a temperament. And that character she don't like to be bothered by. So she let him go.
The relationship between the artists groups grow much closer as they had many following collab shows inside and outside of their school. They got to travel together in one bus and many had became friends with others some had find their pair. One day they had this show outside and she happens to be seated next to this familiar face from the chorale group a guy that looks like a Chinese mestizo. He introduce himself first his name is Sid. They got this time chatting and getting to know each other and sharing ideas with each other. She found out that he is a year senior than her and that he is already graduating this year. He came from a poor family and he is the youngest child among his other 11 siblings. His father died in serviced a military man while he was still young. He has this smiling face always that makes him more attractive and funny. And he loves to sing. He even sings to her and he has a very good voice. No wonder he is in chorale group Ada thought. That's where their friendship starts.. so many more things happen after that meeting with Sid..

Find out on the next chapter. To be continue..
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Her Life... (Fiction) Chapter 4

Ada wakes up by the knocking at her doorstep. She heard her mother calls out to her and said that she had a visitor outside. She then hurriedly get up and wash-up. While she was changing she is thinking who could it be? She wasn't expecting any visitors coming this Saturday so she planned to get up late in the morning. She wondered who is her visitor. As she was going out to the veranda she saw Win standing near by the gate probably waiting for her in tense feeling. She was shocked what brought him here in their house and why he showed his face to his mother. She's feeling so nervous at the same time mad at him. She approached him with a sharp look in her eyes as if she is trying to warn him to go home and get lost. But she don't want her mother to know about their relationship so she introduce him to her mother as her classmate. She acts casual and normal in front of her mother. Her mother leaved them to talk and prepare some food in the kitchen. 

As she was talking to Win her voice gets elevated but low in volume she don't want her mother to hear them. She argued with him,"What's wrong with you? Why did you come here without notifying me first? We had an agreement that this must be kept secret to my family. Why your not doing what I told you to do? And I don't want to see you after what you did to me yesterday. I hate you! Go home! I don't want to talk about it here.. I will give you time to explain but not today, not here. Lets talk after school on Monday." Win was determined to speak to her, he said "Im really sorry for what happened yesterday. Im really at lost right now, I don't know what to do.. (he got tears in his eyes) I don't want to lose you Ada. Im really very very sorry. Sorry. Im so sorry if I hurt you. Im sorry if I disappointed you. I will not let it happen again. Promised!" She almost got convinced with the tears in his eyes but she is determine to give him a punishment. She just keep silent and asked him to leaved.

The days were short and its soon Monday. The day of her judgement towards Win. She is having a heavy heart and its painful to leaved him this way. But she also had her principles and virtues which she gives more value and its important for her to follow her own rules in her life. She sets those limits and bounderies for her protection. She must do and follow the rules she sets for herself. After school, Win was waiting for her in their meeting place beside the school garden under the mango tree. They sat on the bench and discussed of their feelings towards each other. Win was trying to hold her hand but she refused. She said, "Those things you did to me will never ever happen again. I think its better this way to avoid further temptation. I decided to break-up with you. Im sorry too if this has to end so soon. If you really love me you will understand. This relationship is not my priority in life now. Maybe after I graduate college I will make time and get real serious relationship. I have my goals to achieved. But if you can wait until that moment maybe if were really meant to be with each other time will tell when it is. For now, I cant continue with our relationship. To be honest, I have lost the love I feel for you and I realized it when you come to my house. I realized that you would only put me in so much trouble its good that my mother didn't suspect us or find it out. So this is goodbye. I want you to know that I will not forget you because you were my first kiss but sad to say its not the way I fantasized my first kiss to be. You ruined my dream, for that I will never forget you." Ada said lastly, its for giving him a bitter-sweet feeling of their break-up.

Win couldn't do anything anymore with Ada's decision. He regreted so badly with his behavior. He ruined everything in their relationship. Maybe he doesn't really deserved her. She's fragile and naïve, yet very intelligent girl. He messed-up everything, his future towards her and his plans for them. Win decided to moved-out to another school. He cant bare the pain seeing her everyday out of his reach. Its painful to feel that love is one-sided. So he decided to move-away from Ada. Never to see her again. Life goes on.. That's what he said to himself. 

Ada on the other hand graduated Highschool with honors. She really is one of the brightest student in their class. Her parents and family were all so proud of her. And they are all looking forward to a better and brighter future for Ada. Ada was thinking where to enroll in college? She want to be her bestfriend Mary, so she go to the university where they will both enroll when they passed the entrance exam. She is hoping for the best to get admitted. Its a famous university in their town and has a good reputation nationwide. Luckily they got in, she enrolled herself in the college of arts and sciences major in computer because she wants to be an office IT-girl. While her bestfriend Mary enrolled in college of business administration major in Tourism because she wants to be a Flight attendant. They both look and feel excited for their upcoming college life. Another 4 years of struggling.

Until here for now..see you in the next chapter.

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