Pretending

Sometimes i would feel this way.. i think its the best way to guard my emotions that wants to burst out.. Pretending is my weapon against my own emotion. Its been there always whenever it needed to be. Just like right now, my husband seems to be fully loaded his work schedule and doesn't have much time again for us his own family, Im trying my very best to understand and consider all about our situation and his work.  Putting on my mind that he's just being responsible to be able to provide for our food and shelter. But i couldn't accept it wholeheartedly that he will always be leaving us and being far away.. Its not just material things we needed here, dont you think so? I dont think so too.. more than anything we needed his precious time to be with us. Were not growing socially and as a couple ofcourse we also need quality time to spend with each other.. whenever he leaves me i feel like Im being a single parent to our children, i couldn't feel the presence of a partner.. And what can i do but to accept our situation, as if i had any other choice and pray that he could grant my wishes to stay beside me and raise our children together holding hands. Its really hard to struggle about it anymore.. because the more i complain and argue with him the more it gets complicated and i will be misunderstood and we'll never again talk until our pains subside. so all i do now is to pretend that it doesn't matter whatever he decides about his work.. no more complaining.. i dont want to speak a lot anymore.. He knows how i feel and i know that he knows what to do with it.

God bless you all! Have a nice day...c",)

Seized the day!!

I've been beating myself up about not writing more often, but I have to say that I've been busy doing things I love (not that I don't love blogging, quite the contrary! I just have many loves in my life) and creating and just enjoying myself. So this morning I decided I would just celebrate the fact that I am creating and happy and being productive — and enjoying it all the while. Are you doing what you love, at least a little bit, every day? Life is too short not to enjoy it! 

God bless you all! Have a nice day...c",)

God's Great deed..

Feeling the greatness of God thru the help of our friends, namely Mr.and Mrs.A.. They were an inspiration, giving us enough advised in running our relationship. Aside from their hospitality to share their home w/ us and being there always.. We feel so special that all i can think of now is that they were an angel sent by God to be our mirror and giving us reflection, they served to be our guide in this journey of our life. Its a wonderful coincidence for me. But maybe God planned it for us from the very start. Were meant to be friends for life. Im happy too that we had to meet people like them. And now i cant ask for more, God had given us everything we need and needing on the way. Mahal had his i-card already and visa was granted so soon. God made a miracle.. Prayer is truly a powerful weapon. Tomorrow i will be back home and Mahal is going to work in japan.. Our relationship from this coming days would be sweeter again.. Another thing is that we would be able to breath again on our own and with enough space. I'll be missing him but love is there to keep us closer no matter how far we are from each other. I love you mahal ko.. Keep safe and make our dreams come true! I trust in you.. But im worried who's around you without me by your side! Anyway, just keep my love w/ you and locked it in your heart then leave me the key so that no one can take it away, none but me!

Great family

I wish to have a great family. Like our new friend Mr. and Mrs.A;Their family relationship can be compared in a strong boat cruising in the stormy sea that no matter how big waves strikes the boat, it continues sailing to get accross the situation and when the storm passed this boat remained intact..Watching over the rainbow as it pass by. And continue sailing until it reach its goal.. Their family is really one of a kind, raising beautiful and smart kids is a tough job for a parent at this generation but i can say they had done it well 100%. And this couple loves each other so much that they cant live without each other. I guess that's the best part in the scene. Loves presence makes things work out and as long as its there everything can be made possible!! That's all... Oyasuminasai!

Turning point...

My relationship with my hubby made up its turning point... Great changes came up and that i care for so much right now. It starts when Mahal meet his new friend here in bicol... Mr.A. Someone who possessed a good heart and a very smart man. He stayed here with his filipina wife and children for almost 17 yrs now. Their life story made just like ours, from family's relationship and ours.. Seems to have so much in common. Mr.A is giving so much advised to Mahal and giving him so much realization on how it is to live and survive here in philippines. Its odd to find a couple like them who were so in coincedence to have same story as ours. Its really really odd and i still cant believe we got to find a kind of friendly people with so much spirit and enthusiasm. And for that were thankful to God and hoping for the best to continue our friendship with them. Since my hubby made a chit chat with Mr.A and his wife mahal's turning point came up and when we got home he seemed to be a changed man.. He wouldn't yell at me anymore when he gets mad and he's also trying to understand my side. He's not giving me heartache anymore. I love him more now.. God send us an angel through this 2 great couple. They were of so much help to us and been giving us more. I could only pray for them good relationship and healthy life always.

So much pain...

Cant help myself to struggle with my own feelings, Im in so much pain that i couldn't control all this emotions.. Getting worse day by day.. How can i empower myself towards self sacrifice. How can i react and practice my rights.. A certain person in my life whom i love with all my life gives me enough heartache, its where my anxiety begin.. He would always yell when he gets mad or whenever im wrong.. No matter how i want to understand him its me thats being misunderstood.. I dont want to keep anymore trouble so i would just keep my pains in silence.. Pretending that nothing is wrong and Im alright. Just dont want to bother more, it wont be good for us if i'd say it directly that he's the one making me ill. I just want him to be considerate of my feelings. And what i would be feeling.. and listen to what i would have to say. And stop arguing. It wont make any good on our relationship.. Life for me is so unfair, why should it be the one you cherished the most will be the one who would hurt you and give you so much pain. Maybe it would be more peaceful if i die. Or betteryet get lost in his sight. But how can i when i cant live without him. So i must bare with the coldness in his heart. Im a fool maybe but i guess thats part of truthful loving. Somehow i wonder if he truly loves me or just in need of my comfort. He's not even sweet, and theres no passing day that we wont argue.. Im getting tired and starting to feel weak. I wish there'd be changes, i only want us to be happy! In God's way i pray for salvation and peace! Give me strength Dear God to carry this cross you had given me.. I realized all my mistakes and asking for your forgiveness..

He's not home..

Tonight is the night when i will be alone again.. But its only temporary, need not exaggerate coz my hubby is just going on to Malaysia for his business trip for 3 days. He'd be back soon on Saturday.. I hope the weather would be just fine so that he can be home on time. Well. i missed this night and the evenings we been together.. I'd be sleeping without him by my side, it would be so cold. The only thing i appreciate and like is that our room is clean, smoke free from his cigarettes and i could breath easy without any chest pain.. ohlala really need this fresh air! Yes, sometimes its nice this way..without him! And feel a bit lighter, i wonder why! does he really gotten me into so much pressured?! I only tell the difference now.. but i missed him now. i still want him here.. talking nonsense again, sorry just want to burst whats inside my head., hmm so till then! till next chapter...oyasuminasai!

God bless you all! Have a nice day...c",)

Meet our New friends!

 Finally meet our new friends in Manila.. It was a great coincidence! I really thought that I knew who were meeting, that's what my intuition told me and yes I personally knew D's father who I'd work with in the past 6yrs ago. Its nice to see Kuya J again. And his only daughter D is the wife of my husband's friend Mr.S.. they're nice and kuya J is still the same person I knew from the past. Kind and down to earth person.. And Mr.S is a great man in person, very funny and had a lot of humor on his character.. I can sense his kindness too. His wife is pretty and yet strict when it comes to Mr.S. But they're both good. I think Mr.S is an ultimate kind of lover and husband, I can see how much he love his wife and her family. He's showy of his affection and a naive character.. I can tell he has a good heart for people. "Masugou otoko..and gentleman." Me and Mark enjoyed our nights with them.. After dinner at jojoen yakiniku Kuya J sent us to karaoke. Yuri enjoyed the singing and eating part of that evening.. We missed to eat at gyoubou, where we thought were eating that evening. But Jojoen is good too. Oh! that was great to have this 24hr holiday in manila.. We feel the tiring day after getting back home but its worth it. Hoping to repeat the scene someday. Thanks to Mr.S and his wife and family..hope to see them again. Want to keep the friendship with you guys!

God bless you all! Have a nice day...c",)

Tomorrow...

Tonight while Im writing this blog..I was thinking of how's it going to be to meet my husband's friend and his wife a filipina like me.. I hope their friendly too. Planning to have our dinner at gyoumon yakiniku.. It would be my first time to eat there. I wonder if they serve delicious meats and enjoy it. Were planning to go on Karaoke. after that. Japanese often like that kind of arrangement i guess.. Having a good time after a great dinner is kinda exciting, really looking forward for an enjoyment at night.. This will also be like a date for me and my husband. Were going to travel to manila for pleasure and not business so that would be relaxing for us too.

While tomorrow we'll be leaving for manila my family would also be leaving to naga city to attend the penafrancia festival. Its a yearly occasion for the catholic devotee of the patron saint there in naga city.. Its a big celebration for the people attending the festival and for sure it would be crowded.. Were a bit worried for the kids to go because of the crowded place.. probably near the church at the Cathedral, I just hope my parents would be attentive and responsible. Well I pray for the safety of us all on our journey for tomorrow!!

God bless you all! Have a nice day...c",)

Things that Money can't buy!

You aren’t wealthy until you have something money can’t buy.
- Garth Brooks

• A First Kiss from Someone Special – The sweet rush of butterflies in your tummy when you kiss someone special for the very first time.
• The Realization of True Love – The warm feeling you get many years after your first kiss when you realize you married the right person.
• Beauty – Because beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
• True Friendship – Through thick and thin, they stood by your side.  They were there when you had nothing but them.
• Peace of Mind – It can only be acquired with an honest heart.
• Beginner’s Eyes – You’ll never see it again for the very first time.
• The Joy of Telling an Interesting True Story – One of the most enticing roles we lead in life is that of a storyteller.  There are few things more satisfying than telling a true story that others enjoy listening to.
• Happiness – True happiness is achieved by doing what you love and being involved in something you believe in.
• Success – Success is simply excelling at doing what you love.
• A Single Moment of Time – Once it’s gone, it’s gone.  Don’t miss it.
• A Baby’s Laughter – Babies don’t care about money.  They care about kindness, love, and living in the moment.
• Surprise Encounters with Long-Lost Friends – You haven’t seen them in years, and you figured you’d probably never see them again.  Then suddenly, there they are standing right in front of you.
• The Feeling of Self-Accomplishment – You set your sights on a specific goal and followed through until you achieved it.  Now that’s something to celebrate.
• The Sound of Raindrops Outside – …as you snuggle up on the couch.  Few sounds are more soothing.
• A Good, Genuine Conversation – Those moments of verbal bonding when the topic of conversation flows seamlessly and all parties involved gain as much as they put in.
• An Unexpected Compliment – It seems like just another dreary Monday afternoon, but then she walks into your office and says, “I love your shirt.  That color looks great on you.”
• The Feeling You Get When Your Idea Works – You’ve been struggling to resolve a complex problem all day, but you just can’t seem to get it right.  Filled with frustration, you decide to try one last idea before calling it a night.  You’ve had many ideas before that failed miserably… but this time it works.
• Randomly Hearing Your Favorite Song – You’re stuck in bumper to bumper rush hour traffic, so you crank on a radio station for a little distraction.  The opening notes to your favorite song instantly chime in.
• Watching a Live Blooper Unfold in Front of You – As you walk alongside a friend, she trips over her own feet, wobbles erratically, regains her balance, and then tries to play it off like nothing happened.  Hilarious!
• A Sunny Sunday Afternoon – The birds are chirping, a light breeze in blowing through your hair, and the sun’s rays are warming your cheeks.
• The Rush of Adolescent Love – Those magical moments of adolescent lust and affection that only you and one other person rightly remember.
• Being In The Right Place at The Right Time – You’re sitting in the nosebleed seats at a professional baseball game.  The home team batter cranks a monstrous, game-winning home run.  The ball bounces off another fan’s glove two seats in front of you and lands right in your lap.
• The Recollection of Great Childhood Memories – Do you remember the first time you learned to ride a bike?  What about wrestling with your dad?  Or climbing trees with your friends?
• Reminiscing About Old Times with Your Best Friend – Those crazy life experiences only the two of you lived through together.  Like that wild 24 hour road trip, or that drunken night on the 3rd floor balcony of your college apartment.
• Passion – True wealth comes naturally to those who follow their hearts.  You can’t pay someone to be emotionally passionate about something.  Nor can you pay them to psychologically give-up on their passions.
• Objects of Sentimental Value – Old family photos, your great grandmother’s music box, that painting your baby brother made for you… some things are priceless.
• The Comfort of an Old Familiar Smell – You just pulled into your parent’s driveway after being away for a long while.  You smell familiarity in the air, the scent of the pine tree in the neighbor’s yard.  As you head through the front door, more familiar smells consume your senses.  Gosh, it feels good to be home.
• The Hilarity of an Inside Joke – You’ll never get it unless you were there at its inception.
• Amazing Talents You Are Born With – Like the mind of a genius or the voice of an angel.
• The Excitement of Making Someone Else Smile – Because his smile makes you smile back.
• Exercising Your 5 Senses – Sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch.  Each provides a gateway to rewarding personal experiences.
• Sharing a Good Laugh with Friends and Family – Some of the most memorable moments in your life will be moments spent in laughter.
• The Warm Coziness of Your Own Bed – No bed is more comfortable than your own.
• Watching Wild Animals in Nature – Like a hawk gracefully soaring above the tree line, or a deer prancing across a grassy field.
• A Home – Money can buy a house, but not a home.  Because home is where the heart is.
• Waking Up to the Smell of a Home Cooked Meal – You were still asleep, but someone special knew you’d be hungry soon.
• The Peaceful Sound of Absolute Silence – Shhhhh…
• Streams of Consciousness and Clarity – You’re ‘in the zone!’  Act while your mind is hot.
• The Sound of a Light Breeze Through the Trees – It’s the sound of Mother Nature all around you.
• The Captivating Experience of People Watching – The interesting (and sometimes foolish) things people do never ceases to please.  You can’t buy this quality of entertainment.
• Watching the Sunrise and Sunset with Your Beloved – Make time for this.  It’s worth it.
• The Sound and Sight of Ocean Waves – Another phenomenal act of Mother Nature.
• The ‘Pump’ After a Great Workout – You feel like you can conquer the world.
• The Blissful Act of Daydreaming – Just being… and thinking… and dreaming.
• When He Says “I Love You” - …and you know he means it because you can read the sincerity in his eyes.
• When an Unlikely Someone Remembers Your Birthday – A friend you haven’t seen in over a month calls you at 9AM on your birthday just to say “happy birthday.”
• Finding Something You Thought You’d Lost Forever – You searched for it for days and finally gave up.  Now, 2 years later, it basically appears right in front of you.
• The Inspiration Behind Creative Works of Art – Every piece of art is priceless in the eyes of someone who can relate to it.  The creative inspiration behind these works of art is no different.
• When Your Pet Snuggles Up Next to You – It’s just soooo cute.
• A Moment of Eye Contact with an Attractive Stranger – You’ve never seen them before, and you may never see them again.  But a moment was shared.
• A Long Hug from a Loved One – Those deep, warm hugs you wish you could nestle in forever.
• Happily Singing at The Top of Your Lungs – Well… You know you make me wanna shout! Kick my heels up and shout! Throw my hands up and shout! Throw my head back and shout! Come on now… Shout!
• Seeing Your Breath on a Chilly Night – A simple phenomenon that has entertained children since the beginning of mankind.
• The Feeling of Acceptance – You’re now a part of something greater… and it feels good.
• Watching the Clouds Form Cool Shapes – Never the same show twice.
• Cuddling a Newborn Baby – Precious… simply precious.
• When You Know You Can Trust Someone – You can see it in their eyes and you can feel it in your heart.  They have no ulterior motive.
• Sitting Around a Bonfire with Your Friends – One of the greatest settings for reminiscing and storytelling with those your care about.
• Seeing Two Elderly Folks Who are Madly in Love – It’s a sight of love that has surpassed the tests of time.
• The Beauty of a Moonlit Sky – Few simple pleasures are more satisfying than gazing up into a starry, moonlit sky.
• The Awesomeness of Skipping Rocks Across Water – It doesn’t matter how old you get, this one never gets old.
• Watching Lightning in the Distance – Peaceful and powerful at the same time.
• Slow Dancing in Your Living Room - Dancing is like dreaming with your feet
• Knowing He’ll Be There When You Get Back – Yes.  There is stability in your life.  And he’s a big part of it.
• Watching Him Sleep – Just being with him and breathing with him.
• The Colors of Fall – It’s Mother Nature’s artwork.
• People Who Make You Smile Just by Thinking of Them – Wherever I am, no matter what I’m doing, just thinking of him makes me smile.
• The Warm Touch of Your Beloved – It’s the touch no one else has.
• When You Realize People Are Reading What You Write – Words can’t explain it.  Thank you.
• The Excitement of a New Comment on Your Blog – We love these. 

God bless you all! Have a nice day...c",)

Crazy thought..

 My crazy thoughts sometimes come and appear so unexpectedly

       Where I would doubt my mind's confused the glittering thought i soon embrace

 Ideas coming through without thinking of them, leaving me out of the blue
       My mind would chased me thoughts i never wanted to think and pursue
I looked outside my window wondering the thought i didn't know how to argue
       I keep myself busy for a while to avoid these thoughts that keeps coming through my mind.... Im going crazy!

God bless you all! Have a nice day...c",)

Good to be back!

It felt so good and relax to be back home.. Even for a short period of time that  we been away. I really cant compare our home for the comfort of hotels where we stayed. Maybe because Im with my loveones  and I feel safer. Since we got back yesterday my mind set in peace. Oh it felt so refreshingly fine!!! I missed my daughthers, especially yuri..she's so "makulit and cute" getting smarter as days passes by. I wonder where she get her IQ.. she learn easily and so active! she can now sing a song in a tune and proper pronounciation. 

Always with you...

Im here now in manila with my hubby and he maybe wants my company on his business trip. Im with him because i want to support him too. Although were here I cant fully enjoy our stay, i missed my family and our kids. Its still best to stay at home.. I hope we can get back soon tomorrow. Mark is now in bataan meeting wirh his clients, he lets me stay here at our hotel room so i can rest easy.. He doesnt want to tire me that much. Maybe he'd come back late this evening.. Im starving but i dont feel like eating.. Im alone and cant really eat without him. Had my cup of coffee and one banana for my lunch today. Im having a headache now. Hadnt sleep so well last night... Im bored!

Changes..

Its true that nothing is constant in this world but change. In our everyday life we encounter changes in many different ways like changes in our relationships, feelings, attitude or mood we may say, and changes in other manner like our environment, surroundings including buildings and people too... In this changes in our life we are learning from them, we grow and realized more important things. There comes some time when i would asked myself why I'd change, why everybody change.. then i would think that change is necessary in every part of our life here in this world. The world changes itself and we ought to change too so that we can adapt for us to survive. It maybe a part of us since we acquire our life in our mothers wombs. From there and now changes is already a part of us.. 

These changes can be good or bad. Its all up to us to decide which we should take. Sometimes these changes are in-control and some looks at it as an opportunity. For me the important thing here is whether you change for good or the other way around we should be able to cope in the ups and downs in our life.. and we should manage this changes in us in the way that were not affecting others violently. And that its for the better.

God bless you all! Have a nice day...c",)

Losing my mind..

Feeling so sad and helpless.. I couldn't bare the pain and its killing me so softly like a knife is striking deep inside my heart. Never imagined such misery would arrived. My husband isn't the dream man i had before.. I had misjudged and misinterpret the real him.. Until today for being his wife for 2 years.. I had seen so many changes in his personality and attitude. I never seen him carelessly being as selfish as he is right now, I thought he love my family as i loved them.. And that he would accept their whole being including mine, like i accepted him before we get married. I really never had known him.. although my parents and bestfriend were against him before, I still trusted my heart to choose him to be my lifetime partner for the hope that he can make me happy enough just being with him.. But things changed so suddenly, he's a changed man, I couldn't understand him anymore. He criticized more often on other people telling me their bad sides and faults. Always giving bad comments and judging them in advance.. I couldn't understand his principles in life too. I agree on some of the things he would say on how to make things better with life balance and righteous. But its still difficult to apply it on reality when everybody couldn't understand their own role to play within this house.. I feel bitter and in pain, my heart is broken when he comments on my parents mistake, my family are my life, they are a part of me that he couldn't accept.. Sometimes I would think of setting him free from all his responsibility as my husband, and give up our marriage. It's crazy but that runs always on my mind. If only Im brave enough to voice it out..that i could tell everything I had in mind through his face! Its hard to love and please him anymore.. I always wanted to cry!! Im not worth this kind of loving. Am I not kind enough to get this kind of treatment. I know i asked God for him to be mine and promised to loved him forever till the end.. And i cant take back those prayers I made. I also wanted to keep it even now. Its just that I wish there could be some changes and that Mahal would have an open mind and a heart to love my family. Giving them more understanding and learn our culture too..

God bless you all! Have a nice day...c",)

Uneasy..

Its a rough evening last night arguing with my husband again..its becoming more of a habit and I cant understand why we fight against nonsense topic.. If i didn't make myself low it would only cause us more trouble and stressful moments. I cant live with him in that way.. Im a peacemaker kind of person and i hate arguments! i want to avoid it whenever possible, its so immature when no one hears your reason and doesn't take more care of you and your feelings instead they'd only want to hear their own voices.. so for me there is no sense in fighting anymore... it could probably just make me feel to give him less love! I dont want these kind of immaturity persist, our relationship should grow in harmony, this trials in our marriage is the most difficult job i should take and be more careful with awareness towards my own guards. I suppose i can still handle my patience.. Its better to give up my pride for the person who matters the most, for the care i want to give.. i could accept all the hurts if that would make our relationship work. Wishing im right with my decisions! I hope he could soon accept my Family and their unusual habit, eventhough they commit mistakes and have bad attitude sometimes, they're still my family and a part of me.. i lived my life with them for almost 30yrs now and they are there during my hard days and times, my supporter.. My parents raised me for who i am now! I feel Im blessed because i have them... my family!

God bless you all! Have a nice day...c",)

wishful thinking!!

     Its been a while since i wrote my last post..been so busy with my life, been in so many thinking and decision making.. life's been tough but had manage to handle it well..

     Since my husband came home.. life had been different at home.. were pretty happy and i feel comfortable with him around. I wish he can always be around and no matter what happen he will still stay beside me. I wish our marriage work till our last breath. But i can say that it cant be that perfect although were trying our best to balance our indifference's and as we constantly encounter misunderstanding or cultural differences still i wish we can do better in understanding each other.. i admit sometimes were both insensitive at each others feeling and we have different point of view in life.. he's a perfectionist while i just go on with the flow of life, i want to take life easy and enjoy it everyday i cant tell if it would be my last life anyway don't want to stress my life more that way.. i mean needing to just relax and enjoy each moment, maybe I'm a dreamer and I'm not in the way of living practical... i understand his points of view in terms of our journey in life and i admire him for being so knowledgeable in it. Although sometimes i would think that he wouldn't understand how a Filipino manage their own life. It depends on the culture and our beliefs, how we face problems on our own way, and our point of views in life.. Japanese also depends and had learned their way of living their life through their own culture and beliefs and we Filipino cannot comment on that i mean that's their belief and their way of living life. I respect that! Its not bad or wrong giving our own opinion yet we should also think of the probability that we might be going below the belt, we should also feel responsible in our opinion and be more sensitive.. that there can be people that might be sensitive with our opinion and for that we should also be careful. Well, my husband sometimes when we argue with family members attitude, he would always say that he cant understand my family's character or way of thinking.. how we manage to live it as it is right now, why they would be insensitive towards him, well i can say that we cant change peoples character when they acquire it since birth.. its also hard for me to explain it in his language and he couldn't understand more when i would try to explain it. I mean we cant please everybody and vise versa. You might believe that you need to understand another to love them. The truth is you need to love them to understand them... that understanding comes from love!

God bless you all! Have a nice day...c",)

Hopes and Prayers...for JAPAN

Sorry for the late update on this blog, but this was written on my personal diary on sunday March 13.. i thought that i should share this with my readers.. and asking for your help to pray together with me for the victims of Japan's tragedy..

In our prayer, "Dear Lord, please clean our souls, our heart, our sin..make us pure at heart and received us as your child. We can never be here in this world without you Dear God, our savior Jesus Christ for once you had save us from darkness let us see your light again. We are thankful for those who had survived the tragic that struck Japan and hoping to see hope in thy will..we have our faith in you Lord that you will never leave us in times of distress, give us your guidance to pursue in our life and help each other, give your shelter of warm spiritual embrace to those who had been cold at heart. Make their eyes open to see what you had invested in them and teach them their personal mission in life. I believe in you Lord and we trust in your will, that we can never argue in times like this, we can only hope for the new strength your bringing inside in each and everyone of us. Praying for the people who suffered the most.. the innocent children who had lost their parents and family..i pray that they can unite and fight for a better future with care..
I hope and pray for Japan to recover soon..praying that other country would not experience the same..Thank you Lord for our life! God bless us all!!!"

It was incredibly unbelievable what just happen in Japan. My husband's home country. I felt for the victims of tsunami and earthquake especially those who had lost their love ones,friends and family..It scares me a lot that i could hardly breath since that day Friday on March 11. this will be Japan's unforgetable history, its tragic gives so much trauma to the people living there..i could only wish and pray for them to do their best to move on and have faith in God..i wonder why this has to happen many people were not prepared and the japanese people were not that bad to suffer from this tragedy.. i hope that our country and the others could help them recover in time..

If i were to put myself on the victims shoe..i don't know if i could still get up and move on..i would have hurriedly come home soon to Philippines.. I'm thankful that my husband's place was far from the hit of tsunami, but still I'm afraid of the existing earthquakes and aftershocks.. now the scattered radiation from the nuclear power plant is also evading the near cities, its not safe anymore. I could only wish for Mark to come home soon..no matter what i do and think to encourage myself not to worry much i still can think of his safety.. so afraid to lose him eventhough he say that he's safe there its not a 100% guarantee. i worry too for his parents i thought it was near the area where the tsunami hitted.. had him called to his parents as soon as i heard that he is safe, when he said that he cant reach them my heart is trumbling and crying deep inside praying silently and seriously that they are out of danger.. and i thank God when he finally reached one of his brother and heard the news that they are safe too. but still Im worried, my fears and worries will never subside until Japan and its people recovered.

God bless you all! Have a nice day...c",)

Feeling blessed...

When i wake up this morning it came into my senses..how blessed i am to be able to live my life like this..its a moment where i can really appreciate all the things i have in my possession and have my family stay together.Looking all through the greatness of God and the miracle He did for me to stand strong in this life's journey.I think i really do deserved it because of all the effort and hardworks,despite all the tears and failures still i succeeded.i can feel so much secure now because i have on my side my loving,caring and responsible husband Masato..I admired him the most for having it his way,our relationship wouldn't have to be on this status if it weren't on his approval too..We make decisions together,a sign of good and stable relationship were building..and from this very moment i can say that i want to love him more and more each day..i hope and pray that its for the rest of our life.Im also thankful for my family who are always being supportive in everything i do and the decisions i make for us,its for our sake too,and i know that they knew it and realized the causes..i can't argue with the life Im having now..being a mother of two lovely daughters and a wife of the most smart man in the world for me!I just feel so happy and contented!

God bless you all! Have a nice day...c",)